Playing the victim still???

When will my insecurities go away? Will they ever? How do I even begin to try and help that? I've been to counseling and it helped...sorta. Will I ever get back to myself? And for that matter, am I still playing the victim? What makes that the case? I can't stand what I've become. And every day I look at myself in the mirror more and more irritated with what has happened in my life. Maybe I am playing the victim still? My emotions seem to control my life at times. Who's to say it is my emotions. I've been told that I'm not me any more. It's true. I'm not like I used to be. When did I become so cynical? Why has my past made me so cold to the world around me? And really...who am I? I've refused to be a victim for so long, that I've become one. And I despise that fact about myself because it's weak to be the victim. And there's the truth in a nutshell. I'm weak.

Then the idea was posed to me today...what is my daughter supposed to think of me? Will she see me as the coward I've made myself to be? Am I the strong individual that she needs me to be? I'm not a victim. I refuse to be labeled as such and will not allow my daughter to pay for my mistakes in life.