Todays thought...My mom is awesome!

Yes, yes. We're doing another post about my mommy. BUT, there's actually a reason for it. I've had two friends recently talk to me about my relationship with my mom. Just random things and one of those friends asked me why I wasn't her mom. So, lets take the relationship with my mom. And lets go all the way to the beginning. My mom's the bomb diggety. Her and my dad are the best people in the world. Fast forward until I become a teenager. Then my parents suck, and my mom is like Enemy Number One, dad is Enemy Number Two, and life pretty much sucks. You know how it is when you're a teen.

Well this is where it gets sketchy. And I told you all one day I was finally going to go into this. Well here it is. I get this bug up my ass (With help from a guy), to turn my parents into DHS for child abuse. People, especially young people, listen to me, and listen to me good. THERE IS NO GUY WORTH DESTROYING YOUR PARENTS! And that is exactly what I did. No, my parents didn't get taken in. DHS went in and investigated and guess what, they didn't find anything wrong with my mom and dad's parenting skills. But, I broke my dad. For some reason, and I still to this day have no clue why, my mom just sat back and still loved me. But I broke my dad. And don't get me wrong, my dad still loved me. He always will. He's my daddy. But now that I look back, and even to this day, it STILL kills me the way I broke his heart. And looking back, I know I broke my mom's heart too, even though she wont say it, but she didn't show it. She never showed it. She simply pushed it away (the way only a mom can) and loved me anyway.

Well lets fast forward again a few years. I'm in a bad relationship. And I mean a BAD relationship. Yes, with the guy from the teens that convinced me to call DHS. I am married to a man who is abusive in any and every way possible. But you know who my rock is? Through all of it? Do you know who gives me the strength to be me and to know that I'm loved regardless (And trust me, there were times, married to him, that I thought I wasn't even lovable.)? Yep. My mom. She was always there. They day before I left my ex, I pulled her out of work (With her boss's permission, he was an awesome boss), and we went to eat lunch. I told her just a little bit, of what was going on in my life. She put her hand on mine and said "Honey, you do what you've got to do."

That was an eternal turning point in my life. I'll never forget it. It was my mommy, my rock, my only constant in my life, even when I couldn't see it, telling me it was okay and that she supported me no matter what I did. Those were very dark days for us. We still talk about it sometimes, but never to accuse each other, just to get it out, because I know she needs to get it out as much as I do, from her side of it.

Fast forward another few years. Here I am, married to the love of my life (Who my mom likes to call her boyfriend), have an amazing relationship with my dad, and my mom, even though living states away, and I, talk every day. My mom was always the one that all of my girlfriends came to for advice and to talk to, and mostly still do. It was brought to my attention not too long ago though, that if you were to look at my mom and I together now, from the outside, you'd never know what happened during my teenage years. You'd never know I'd broken her heart multiple times, and you'd never know that for a time there, we didn't talk, because I thought she never understood me, never knew where I was coming from, never knew me.

I was asked recently by one friend if my mom and I ever fought, then by another how my mom and I got along so well and told that she wished I had been her mom. Admittedly, that one both astounded me and made me sad that anyone would feel that way. I look around, and very few of my friends/acquaintances, have the relationship with their moms/daughters, as I have with my mom, and hope to with my daughter.

If you look at my mom and I now, you'd see a perfect friendship as well as mother/daughter relationship. And it makes me wonder sometimes how you define perfect. My mom and I are NOT perfect by any means. And I guess, as I've said before, the biggest thing is, she was ALWAYS, my mom first, my friend second. That is imperative for a good relationship between yourself and your child. You have to remember that you are his/her mom FIRST.

She still irritates the crap out of me, and I still irritate the crap out of her, and we still yell at each other. But no matter what happens between us, one thing never, NEVER changes. Her love for me, and my love for her. My mom never brings up the past unless we're just talking about it. She never talks about how I broke her heart or that time in my teens, unless we're just talking. I bring it up most times, but she will very rarely. But never to blame me, never to throw it in my face what I did, but to just talk it through. It's something that's still raw, after all of this time. Something I still hold in my heart. And at the end of each conversation, we always know, that no matter what happened, she's still my mommy, and I'm still her daughter. Period.