Today's thought...Wondering.

Okay so, I'm watching Dr. Phil and I sit there and I think about things I've seen and people I know, and it strikes me suddenly. What is it about me, that wasn't strong enough to see that what was going on with me, was just bullying? I mean, think about it. You rarely hear of men being bullied. Kids, yes. Teens, yes. Women, yes. Men...rarely if ever. So what is it about us women, that makes us weaker?

And some women are going to read this and be like "That's bull shit, you're weak, I'm not." and that's fine. If you feel like that, then I genuinely hope you're right. I genuinely hope that you find someone that doesn't ever do to you what's been done to me.
But let me tell you, from everything I've ever been through, after years of my husband and him helping me with everything that he's helped me with, I'm STILL scared of my ex. I'm STILL to the point that if I ever ran into him I'd probably pass out. Literally.

So what is wrong with me, that I can't get over something that happened to me fifteen years ago? What is it with me that I don't feel comfortable walking around the same town I last saw him in without clamming up, looking at the floor and shrinking to invisibility. Why wasn't I strong enough? Why am I not strong enough still? What's wrong with me? Even my HUSBAND asks me why I'm scared of my ex still after all this time. And I have no answer. I have no response. What is wrong with me?

I'm open to opinion and criticism. Just...be nice.