Today's thought...Cancer.

Yeah, the C word rears it's ugly head again. Recently my mother in law was diagnosed with brain cancer. I type of Lymphoma that affects the entire Central Nervous System. It hasn't been easy. Since the initial diagnosis, it's been a roller coaster. It's ranged from "She may not survive the tumor biopsy." to "It's completely treatable, and possibly even curable."

It's been about four weeks since everything started and honestly, I'm exhausted. Daily, I take care of her, and my 5 year old, and hold down the fort, then come home and do it all again. All in the same day. It's hard. It's not easy. But when my husband was talking about possibly discussing an in home nurse, instantly, I didn't like the idea. I know how she is. I know how to talk to her. I know how to take care of her, and I wouldn't trade these moments for anything in the world.

It's hard. I've said that already, but it is. Helping her shower, helping her eat, helping her with her drops, when she has to go to the bathroom, when she wants to walk, when she's having issues, when she asks me the same question a thousand times over because of the tumor. And we haven't even reached the point as to whether or not she is approved for treatment or if she has to go with chemo/radiation.

But I wouldn't trade it for the world. The moments when I get to make her laugh, or she gives me a thumbs up, or says thanks for something I've done. The look in her face when I gave her chapstick, that looked as though I gave her a bar of pure gold. The smile when I rub lotion on her legs and feet, that feel dry because of everything going on. The I love you, when I walk out the door, declaring that I'll be back tomorrow, or the moments when she proudly boasts, I'm her daughter. Not daughter-in-law; daughter.

There is no telling what our future will hold, but I know that I'm going to be here, no matter what.