Todays thought...Getting over it.

How does one "get over" something. I'm so tired of being told to get over things. Get over my past. Get over my feelings. Get over the last fight I just had with someone...be it my daughter, my husband, my best friend, or my family.

I don't know HOW to "get over" things that I've got on my mind. No one knows what I've been through. Except maybe one person. There's one person I KNOW that I could talk to that would know exactly where I'm coming from. She would know exactly how I feel and why I feel the way I feel. And I know this because I've called her when I've had a problem and she has no joke dealt with something similar that day.

But it's hard for me to "get over" things. I have had things drilled into my head that people cannot possibly understand, nor can I explain. And those things keep me from "getting over it", there fore holding me back.

Does it really matter to people if I get over things? Or is it only me? I'm told to get over how I'm feeling, but dammit, those are my feelings! Are they wrong? My feelings I mean? Is it stupid that I tend to ... I guess ... dwell on things? At what point is too much too much and at what point do I yell at the top of my lungs "Screw you! These are MY feelings, NOT YOURS!" and to what point do you listen to the person specifically because of who they are?

And it sucks because you know that they mean well when they tell you that, but it sucks because most of them don't know. They don't understand first hand, what it's like. And to them, dwelling is just putting on undo stress. And yes. In all honesty, it sure is. But damn if I can help it. Damn if I can stop myself from feeling like I did. Do people think I LIKE feeling this way? Do they think I do it just because I enjoy living like this? Do they think it's because I just do it to make people feel sorry for me?

Screw that! I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me! If you say something to me that makes me feel bad, I'm not going to tell you or anyone else. That's our business. Why would I spread it? I am who I am. I dwell because I do, not because I like it. And if you don't understand that, then good for you. I hope you never do.

Today's thought...Homesick, and things that never change.

I don't know why I've been so homesick lately. And it's not like I don't love my husband and daughter, I definitely do. But sometimes, I miss my old peoples. And not old as in age, but old as in grew up with these people. I miss my family! My mom and dad for one. My Aunts, my Uncle, my cousins, and yes, even my brother whom I love dearly but never seems to find the time to call or see me unless it suits him.

I don't know why I've had such an issue lately, I've just really been missing my family. Frog will come down for the weekend, and then the next weekend, I'll be completely deflated that he's not coming down. And it's completely stupid that I'm like that. I mean, not completely stupid, but just...I hate when I have my blah moments. I texted my aunt tonight and told her she needed to come down for the weekend. I have Shirley Temple movies and plenty of wine on tap to satisfy the media of the weekend. Alas, she lives 700 miles away and she's even further away, camping this weekend. LoL! Oh well. Not this weekend. I don't know. I just...I'm homesick. I talk to my mommy every day. And I mean I talk to her EVERY DAY. There's nothing she doesn't know. And it's awesome that I can do that. But I hate that I can't just go over to her place any time I want to and give her a hug, let her play with her granddaughter, or torment her rat...I mean dog. LMAO! No it's cute. I love my moms dog. It's a papillon and all of 5 lb soaking wet. But regardless, it's home. No matter where they live. Which also happens to be 700 miles away.

On a side note, happier note, it's funny how some things never change. I found a friend of mine from High School that I hadn't seen in forever. I called her Einstein, she called me Plain Berry. All our own reasons why, but after not talking to her for years, I find her, and she remembers calling me that in school. I didn't have a lot of friends in high school and she was one that I'll never forget. That small fact makes me smile every time I come across those moments that make me remember. Anyway that's about it. Not a lot going on here. Just the same ole same ole and so on and so forth. Hoping my knee gets better soon where I slipped and twisted it. Ugh. Physical Therapy's a bitch!

Anyway...peace out homies! Lata!