Todays thought...Getting over it.

How does one "get over" something. I'm so tired of being told to get over things. Get over my past. Get over my feelings. Get over the last fight I just had with someone...be it my daughter, my husband, my best friend, or my family.

I don't know HOW to "get over" things that I've got on my mind. No one knows what I've been through. Except maybe one person. There's one person I KNOW that I could talk to that would know exactly where I'm coming from. She would know exactly how I feel and why I feel the way I feel. And I know this because I've called her when I've had a problem and she has no joke dealt with something similar that day.

But it's hard for me to "get over" things. I have had things drilled into my head that people cannot possibly understand, nor can I explain. And those things keep me from "getting over it", there fore holding me back.

Does it really matter to people if I get over things? Or is it only me? I'm told to get over how I'm feeling, but dammit, those are my feelings! Are they wrong? My feelings I mean? Is it stupid that I tend to ... I guess ... dwell on things? At what point is too much too much and at what point do I yell at the top of my lungs "Screw you! These are MY feelings, NOT YOURS!" and to what point do you listen to the person specifically because of who they are?

And it sucks because you know that they mean well when they tell you that, but it sucks because most of them don't know. They don't understand first hand, what it's like. And to them, dwelling is just putting on undo stress. And yes. In all honesty, it sure is. But damn if I can help it. Damn if I can stop myself from feeling like I did. Do people think I LIKE feeling this way? Do they think I do it just because I enjoy living like this? Do they think it's because I just do it to make people feel sorry for me?

Screw that! I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me! If you say something to me that makes me feel bad, I'm not going to tell you or anyone else. That's our business. Why would I spread it? I am who I am. I dwell because I do, not because I like it. And if you don't understand that, then good for you. I hope you never do.