Todays thought...Men and women of God.
I've had a lot going on in my life as of late. And it hasn't all been good at all. People telling lies, for what reason I can only surmise is to hurt me, as there is no other explanation I can come up with. Doing it to hurt my family and for what, I don't know. I just can't understand it. And it's put me in a rough place. I don't want to meet anyone new, I don't want to talk to but a very few select people, it's changed me. As much as I hate it, as much as I despise it, as much as I detest that part of myself, it's changed me; I just don't know if it's a permanent change, or if like I've been told in the past, I will get back to the open part of myself.
So in my moments of silence, I tend to reach out to men and women of faith. Why? Because my faith embodies most everything of what I am. And when I struggle with it, I reach out to those who I know would have an answer. In one particular conversation I'm having with one of these people of faith, I was reminded when they told me, they're not perfect either. That they're human too, and they err, and they are broken, just like I am. I can't even begin to explain what that one statement meant to me. I have a big problem with putting people up on a pedestal. Especially someone I consider to be a man or woman of faith. And I guess, with some people that are in higher planes of religion (i.e. preachers, pastors, reverends, etc...), as a leader of a church, you tend to put them up a bit higher, whether you realize you do it or not.
And I can't even imagine the immense amounts of just...PRESSURE...that these people must feel. I KNOW I'm not the only one that see's them as...perfect beings?...even though knowing that the only perfect one was Jesus. And honestly, most of them, KNOW that others see them as perfect beings, and relish the thought. Then there are some, that will tell you flat out; Don't put me on a pedestal. I'm just as broken as the next person, and if you put me up there, all you're going to get is disappointment.
It's actually, incredibly refreshing to talk to someone who doesn't put themselves on a level above anyone in this world, least of all...me. I'm not perfect by any stretch. I struggle every day with issues that I shouldn't even be dealing with, because they're mostly brought on by myself. But the fact that there are men and women of faith, that know they're not perfect, don't claim to be and will tell you flat out that they're not, bluntly, tells me that there is hope for someone like me. A person of faith, that KNOWS she's not perfect...
Saturday, March 07, 2015
Wednesday, February 04, 2015
Today's thoughts...making changes.
A lot of things have come across my path in the last few weeks. My past, my present and my future. I've been very blessed to have some friends that have helped me along the way, and I've been extremely blessed to have my family by my side. But there's a few moments where I haven't been sure how I felt about things in my life.
And I've noticed, it's funny how a song you heard before that you didn't think about until the moment you needed, was there. What is this song? It's called The Monster, by Eminem ft. Rhianna. And I couldn't figure out what it was about the song that I wanted to keep hearing, until I broke it down and looked at the lyrics of the song.
The lyrics that struck me so much, go as follows...
"'Cause I need an interventionist
To intervene between me and this monster
And save me from myself and all this conflict
'Cause the very thing that I love's killing me and I can't conquer it..."
And as hard as it is for me to tell people how I feel about things, that's kinda it. I mean, I love the whole song, and it's a great song that makes me think about things, and makes me have an aha moment when I'm listening to it. You should check out the song and watch the vid on youtube. I mean...it's Eminem. It's a little strange, but that being said, it's a really good song, one that you should check out.
It's been a really messed up last couple of weeks for me. I've learned who my real family and friends are, and learned how much of a blessing and amazing man my husband is. I really do have an amazing support group that ranges from my neighbors to my family and friends, and am extremely blessed and lucky to have what and who I have in my life.
A lot of things have come across my path in the last few weeks. My past, my present and my future. I've been very blessed to have some friends that have helped me along the way, and I've been extremely blessed to have my family by my side. But there's a few moments where I haven't been sure how I felt about things in my life.
And I've noticed, it's funny how a song you heard before that you didn't think about until the moment you needed, was there. What is this song? It's called The Monster, by Eminem ft. Rhianna. And I couldn't figure out what it was about the song that I wanted to keep hearing, until I broke it down and looked at the lyrics of the song.
The lyrics that struck me so much, go as follows...
"'Cause I need an interventionist
To intervene between me and this monster
And save me from myself and all this conflict
'Cause the very thing that I love's killing me and I can't conquer it..."
And as hard as it is for me to tell people how I feel about things, that's kinda it. I mean, I love the whole song, and it's a great song that makes me think about things, and makes me have an aha moment when I'm listening to it. You should check out the song and watch the vid on youtube. I mean...it's Eminem. It's a little strange, but that being said, it's a really good song, one that you should check out.
It's been a really messed up last couple of weeks for me. I've learned who my real family and friends are, and learned how much of a blessing and amazing man my husband is. I really do have an amazing support group that ranges from my neighbors to my family and friends, and am extremely blessed and lucky to have what and who I have in my life.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Today's thought...questions in waiting.
So a friend of mine is talking to me today and she tells me that when she was a kid, she asked a question to a star on one of them forums and they picked her question to read and answer. Her question to the actor was, "If you were abducted by aliens, and they stole all of your memories, what one memory would you want to keep, and why?" So I thought about it. This is a tremendously thought provoking question. Here was my answer.
There are two. Yes, I know this is cheating, but I don't care. It's what you're getting. LoL! Memory one (And these are in no particular order of one over the other), Christmas of '98. Christmas Eve, almost midnight, loose horses, ice skating down the road, getting stuck because of ice and trapped there for four days, a gold chain and cross for Christmas, yup. One of my favorite memories.
Second one, September of '09. Friday afternoon, been in the hospital for almost a week, husband hasn't left my side outside of going to work because, lets face it, he needs his job...sleeping in one of the most uncomfortable hospital side beds imaginable, we are officially parents of this just over two pound tiny person. She's born ten weeks early, emergency surgery, and there's this moment, when my husband looks at me and there's this expression of absolute undying love in his eyes.
Those are my two favorite memories of all time. Those are the ones that I would want to hang on to if aliens drained my brain. So now I ask...what is your favorite memory? Are you torn between two like I am? Or do you have one ultimate favorite? I would love to hear your answers. :)
So a friend of mine is talking to me today and she tells me that when she was a kid, she asked a question to a star on one of them forums and they picked her question to read and answer. Her question to the actor was, "If you were abducted by aliens, and they stole all of your memories, what one memory would you want to keep, and why?" So I thought about it. This is a tremendously thought provoking question. Here was my answer.
There are two. Yes, I know this is cheating, but I don't care. It's what you're getting. LoL! Memory one (And these are in no particular order of one over the other), Christmas of '98. Christmas Eve, almost midnight, loose horses, ice skating down the road, getting stuck because of ice and trapped there for four days, a gold chain and cross for Christmas, yup. One of my favorite memories.
Second one, September of '09. Friday afternoon, been in the hospital for almost a week, husband hasn't left my side outside of going to work because, lets face it, he needs his job...sleeping in one of the most uncomfortable hospital side beds imaginable, we are officially parents of this just over two pound tiny person. She's born ten weeks early, emergency surgery, and there's this moment, when my husband looks at me and there's this expression of absolute undying love in his eyes.
Those are my two favorite memories of all time. Those are the ones that I would want to hang on to if aliens drained my brain. So now I ask...what is your favorite memory? Are you torn between two like I am? Or do you have one ultimate favorite? I would love to hear your answers. :)
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Today's thought...How did we get so off course...????
Okay this is going to be a nostalgia post, I know, but you know what? It's Christmas. I don't care. I'm going there. How did this world get so strange? How is it that this world got to the point that it's in now? And not just in America, EVERYWHERE!!!
I was talking to my mom tonight, and we got into a convo about Christmas past. When times were simpler. When it was just us three families, and really just one. It was my grandma and grandpa, and their three kids, their kids included. I remember Christmas. Going to my aunts house, eating at the table in the living room, Mom and Dad, Son and wife, Daughter and husband, Daughter, five children, and usually someone who was adopted into the family at some point by someone. That's what I remember. Those are the times I cherish.
Of course, this was years ago. Times do change. People move away, people pass to heaven, lives grow, children have children and so on and so forth. But is it so strange for me to want my child, to have the same memories I do? But alas, she can't. My little girl doesn't have what I have. She isn't going to have the memories of the whole family getting together. Because the generation she's growing up in, we don't have such things.
Christmas isn't about getting together as much any more. Christmas is about Skyping with the parents that aren't close enough to be here. It's about seeing the pictures of the cousins on Facebook and trying to share it. It's about seeing the parents that thankfully CAN be there, and hope that THAT side of the family is able to be together, and not stuck working or otherwise.
And it makes me sad. I get it. I realize that Christmas should be the last time of the year that I should be sad, but it does make me sad. Christmas isn't what it used to be. My little girl is NEVER going to be able to have the memories I did. Then my mom, smartest woman in the world, tells me that I need to make my own memories for my daughter, so that she has something to take with her in the future.
Then we get into a conversation about how much times have changed, and family dynamics are a thing of the past and how much our world has changed. When did my relationship with my mom, something that I hold so sacred, and so dear, become so out of the realm, that I look around, and I can't find more than one or two people that I know, that have the same relationship with their mom's as I do?
Or even my daddy. And I mean, I totally get that mine and my mom's relationship or even mine and my dad's, is special. But (literally, I can count on one had) the people I know, don't have even remotely CLOSE to the relationship with their parents as I have. How did this happen? How is it parents and children have gotten to the point that they're so estranged from each other, that the relationship isn't anywhere close to what it should be? How is it we've gotten so far away from what family is, that we don't know where it's from any more? Why isn't my relationship with my mom, the norm?
I'm not complaining at all, don't get me wrong. But seriously!? My friends look at me like I'm on crack, when I talk about things I discuss with my mom. Why? When did this world get away from being able to talk to our parents? When did this world get to the point that family get-togethers, and family dynamics, stopped being basic connections to the other person, period? When did we get away from what family is really about?
Am I just that strange? Is my relationship with my mom, just that different from the norm? Is it just that wrong, to want my daughter, to know half of what I did growing up?
Okay this is going to be a nostalgia post, I know, but you know what? It's Christmas. I don't care. I'm going there. How did this world get so strange? How is it that this world got to the point that it's in now? And not just in America, EVERYWHERE!!!
I was talking to my mom tonight, and we got into a convo about Christmas past. When times were simpler. When it was just us three families, and really just one. It was my grandma and grandpa, and their three kids, their kids included. I remember Christmas. Going to my aunts house, eating at the table in the living room, Mom and Dad, Son and wife, Daughter and husband, Daughter, five children, and usually someone who was adopted into the family at some point by someone. That's what I remember. Those are the times I cherish.
Of course, this was years ago. Times do change. People move away, people pass to heaven, lives grow, children have children and so on and so forth. But is it so strange for me to want my child, to have the same memories I do? But alas, she can't. My little girl doesn't have what I have. She isn't going to have the memories of the whole family getting together. Because the generation she's growing up in, we don't have such things.
Christmas isn't about getting together as much any more. Christmas is about Skyping with the parents that aren't close enough to be here. It's about seeing the pictures of the cousins on Facebook and trying to share it. It's about seeing the parents that thankfully CAN be there, and hope that THAT side of the family is able to be together, and not stuck working or otherwise.
And it makes me sad. I get it. I realize that Christmas should be the last time of the year that I should be sad, but it does make me sad. Christmas isn't what it used to be. My little girl is NEVER going to be able to have the memories I did. Then my mom, smartest woman in the world, tells me that I need to make my own memories for my daughter, so that she has something to take with her in the future.
Then we get into a conversation about how much times have changed, and family dynamics are a thing of the past and how much our world has changed. When did my relationship with my mom, something that I hold so sacred, and so dear, become so out of the realm, that I look around, and I can't find more than one or two people that I know, that have the same relationship with their mom's as I do?
Or even my daddy. And I mean, I totally get that mine and my mom's relationship or even mine and my dad's, is special. But (literally, I can count on one had) the people I know, don't have even remotely CLOSE to the relationship with their parents as I have. How did this happen? How is it parents and children have gotten to the point that they're so estranged from each other, that the relationship isn't anywhere close to what it should be? How is it we've gotten so far away from what family is, that we don't know where it's from any more? Why isn't my relationship with my mom, the norm?
I'm not complaining at all, don't get me wrong. But seriously!? My friends look at me like I'm on crack, when I talk about things I discuss with my mom. Why? When did this world get away from being able to talk to our parents? When did this world get to the point that family get-togethers, and family dynamics, stopped being basic connections to the other person, period? When did we get away from what family is really about?
Am I just that strange? Is my relationship with my mom, just that different from the norm? Is it just that wrong, to want my daughter, to know half of what I did growing up?
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Today's thought...Legends are funny things.
My husband and I were out to dinner the other night, at Logan's. I was talking to our server and I asked him if he knew there was a Gnome inside every peanut. He says no, so I show him. But in the process of showing him I realize, I don't know about the legend behind the gnome inside the peanut.
So, I come home, and I Google it. Alas I find, there is no such legend anywhere on the internet. So I go back to the source of the original person that showed me. They tell me to ask another person and I do. Turns out, as far as anyone is aware, there is no legend anywhere. So I, being the creative brain that I am, created one. And here we have:
The Legend of the Gnome Inside the Peanut (Copyright 12/13/14)
One day, a long time ago there lived a village of gnomes, thriving peacefully. Now gnomes, who can live up to four hundred years, have two known enemies. Trolls, and humans. One could live below ground with the gnomes, one above. Well one day, while in a battle with the humans, this particular bunch of gnomes, wound up fighting once more, when they went underground, with the trolls. Turns out, the humans, had made a deal with the trolls, to wipe out this village of gnomes, being as gnomes are notorious for being impish.
Stuck, and not willing to give up their lives, they traveled as far as possible, winding up in a peanut grove. Knowing that both the trolls and the humans were bearing down on them, they did the only thing they could think of, and hid inside the peanuts that were growing there. Their hope, was if they hid inside the peanuts, they would be able to avoid devastation. But, they couldn't just jump inside of a plant or seed. As guardians of the ground, they did the right thing, and asked for permission. The peanuts of course, agreeing to hide the gnomes; as they knew that though they were impish above the ground, below the ground, they took care of the roots, flowers, plants and soil.
They created a special bond, that spanned generations as well as tribes, allowing the gnomes to hide within the peanuts when the need arose, no questions asked. What they didn't realize, was that when the gnomes jumped inside of the peanuts, it created a small spot in the top of the nut, that would, if inspected, reveal their hiding spot, leaving the part in the top, only visible to humans that were careful enough to discover it. And so, every time you open a peanut and find a gnome, remember that even though they are not there any longer, on one fateful day, possibly long ago...possibly not, a gnome hid, inside that peanut, for the safety and protection during a battle, leaving it's legacy behind.
ADDENDUM: It has recently come to my attention that there is a STORY about a gnome in peanut, an old fairy-tale. I'm currently researching this to make sure that I am not stepping on toes with my creative legend.
My husband and I were out to dinner the other night, at Logan's. I was talking to our server and I asked him if he knew there was a Gnome inside every peanut. He says no, so I show him. But in the process of showing him I realize, I don't know about the legend behind the gnome inside the peanut.
So, I come home, and I Google it. Alas I find, there is no such legend anywhere on the internet. So I go back to the source of the original person that showed me. They tell me to ask another person and I do. Turns out, as far as anyone is aware, there is no legend anywhere. So I, being the creative brain that I am, created one. And here we have:
The Legend of the Gnome Inside the Peanut (Copyright 12/13/14)
One day, a long time ago there lived a village of gnomes, thriving peacefully. Now gnomes, who can live up to four hundred years, have two known enemies. Trolls, and humans. One could live below ground with the gnomes, one above. Well one day, while in a battle with the humans, this particular bunch of gnomes, wound up fighting once more, when they went underground, with the trolls. Turns out, the humans, had made a deal with the trolls, to wipe out this village of gnomes, being as gnomes are notorious for being impish.
Stuck, and not willing to give up their lives, they traveled as far as possible, winding up in a peanut grove. Knowing that both the trolls and the humans were bearing down on them, they did the only thing they could think of, and hid inside the peanuts that were growing there. Their hope, was if they hid inside the peanuts, they would be able to avoid devastation. But, they couldn't just jump inside of a plant or seed. As guardians of the ground, they did the right thing, and asked for permission. The peanuts of course, agreeing to hide the gnomes; as they knew that though they were impish above the ground, below the ground, they took care of the roots, flowers, plants and soil.
They created a special bond, that spanned generations as well as tribes, allowing the gnomes to hide within the peanuts when the need arose, no questions asked. What they didn't realize, was that when the gnomes jumped inside of the peanuts, it created a small spot in the top of the nut, that would, if inspected, reveal their hiding spot, leaving the part in the top, only visible to humans that were careful enough to discover it. And so, every time you open a peanut and find a gnome, remember that even though they are not there any longer, on one fateful day, possibly long ago...possibly not, a gnome hid, inside that peanut, for the safety and protection during a battle, leaving it's legacy behind.
ADDENDUM: It has recently come to my attention that there is a STORY about a gnome in peanut, an old fairy-tale. I'm currently researching this to make sure that I am not stepping on toes with my creative legend.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Today's thought...quitting, and technology.
We'll start with the low side. Bills are forever hounding me. Looking to see if I could help bring some kind of income into the house, I've published a couple of my books. Going to the reports to see what I had available for a paycheck today, I realized on my website, I have nothing. I have two books published, and no one has purchased them but myself it seems. Well, myself and a few people who have bought them because they're kind of tied to me, so they're obligated...I guess? And maybe this is because I'm on some major cold medicine and tired as everything, but it's just made me wonder. What's the point? Should I quit publishing my works all together? No one reads it. No one buys them. Does anyone care if I publish anything else? And as I read this now I realize it seems like a pity party...but whatever. It's how I feel. Maybe once I get it out there, I'll feel better and get back to it tomorrow. But as for now...I'm really not sure if my writing makes a difference to anyone out there. And if it doesn't, and isn't being enjoyed, then there's not really a point. Is there?
Now for the high side. Talking to my mommy tonight (And most of you that read this...ya'll KNOW how important my mommy is to me), I thought about how much technology has come so far. Let me explain. Fifteen years ago, when I wanted to talk to my mom, and she lived far away, or I was on the road and was far away, I had to call and talk to her over the phone. My mom is deaf. This was no easy task. There were no cell phones. I mean, there were, but she could barely understand me on a land line, and cell phones were big, and bulky and only for the rich. Well, to me anyway. It was an expense we could do without. I mean hell, we had a land line. We'd survived without a cell for thousands of years, what did we need one? My how times have changed. And not just cell phones....My gosh, COMPUTERS!!! Holy crap!
Now, I can bring my mom, INTO MY HOUSE! Straight through the computer or cell phone. Instant messaging has completely revolutionized how we talk. Fifteen years ago, I got to talk to my mom....probably once every two or three days and for five minutes, and nine times out of ten, she didn't get half of what I said. Now, I can get online and IM her, and we can talk all day, with no misinterpretation or misunderstanding. And when internet is down, or we're away from our computers/homes, we can text each other. And not only can we text...we can send pictures!
Again, bringing mom into the house! Mom asked if I was at my computer. I tell her I'm peeling potatoes. She asks what's for dinner. Not thinking a thing of it, I snap a picture of the pot roast in the crock pot, and send it to her. She chimes back with Yumm...and I stop and realize, fifteen years ago, I could have never done that. I wouldn't be able to spend time with my mom every night, even though she's seven hundred miles away, if it wasn't for technology. People gripe about how much technology has taken away from every day things and every day conversations with people. In some points of it, I can understand and see. But I have to disagree with most of it. Because of booms in technology, I can, and DO, talk to my mom, every day. I never miss a day. Be it over a text, or over IM, or even Skype. She can see her granddaughter, instead of watching her grow up in pictures. She can talk to her, and they have several conversations over IM (With me typing of course).
Does technology replace hugs? Not in a million years. Do I still miss my mama? Daily. So does my daughter. She always talks about her Grahmma and Grahmpa and how much she can't wait to see them again. But now...we can see each other, and we can talk daily, and I can send her a pic of a pot roast in the crock pot, and not think twice about it. Now if it can keep up, maybe in a few more years I'll be able to teleport them here for dinner once a week, and visa versa. Asking too much you think?
We'll start with the low side. Bills are forever hounding me. Looking to see if I could help bring some kind of income into the house, I've published a couple of my books. Going to the reports to see what I had available for a paycheck today, I realized on my website, I have nothing. I have two books published, and no one has purchased them but myself it seems. Well, myself and a few people who have bought them because they're kind of tied to me, so they're obligated...I guess? And maybe this is because I'm on some major cold medicine and tired as everything, but it's just made me wonder. What's the point? Should I quit publishing my works all together? No one reads it. No one buys them. Does anyone care if I publish anything else? And as I read this now I realize it seems like a pity party...but whatever. It's how I feel. Maybe once I get it out there, I'll feel better and get back to it tomorrow. But as for now...I'm really not sure if my writing makes a difference to anyone out there. And if it doesn't, and isn't being enjoyed, then there's not really a point. Is there?
Now for the high side. Talking to my mommy tonight (And most of you that read this...ya'll KNOW how important my mommy is to me), I thought about how much technology has come so far. Let me explain. Fifteen years ago, when I wanted to talk to my mom, and she lived far away, or I was on the road and was far away, I had to call and talk to her over the phone. My mom is deaf. This was no easy task. There were no cell phones. I mean, there were, but she could barely understand me on a land line, and cell phones were big, and bulky and only for the rich. Well, to me anyway. It was an expense we could do without. I mean hell, we had a land line. We'd survived without a cell for thousands of years, what did we need one? My how times have changed. And not just cell phones....My gosh, COMPUTERS!!! Holy crap!
Now, I can bring my mom, INTO MY HOUSE! Straight through the computer or cell phone. Instant messaging has completely revolutionized how we talk. Fifteen years ago, I got to talk to my mom....probably once every two or three days and for five minutes, and nine times out of ten, she didn't get half of what I said. Now, I can get online and IM her, and we can talk all day, with no misinterpretation or misunderstanding. And when internet is down, or we're away from our computers/homes, we can text each other. And not only can we text...we can send pictures!
Again, bringing mom into the house! Mom asked if I was at my computer. I tell her I'm peeling potatoes. She asks what's for dinner. Not thinking a thing of it, I snap a picture of the pot roast in the crock pot, and send it to her. She chimes back with Yumm...and I stop and realize, fifteen years ago, I could have never done that. I wouldn't be able to spend time with my mom every night, even though she's seven hundred miles away, if it wasn't for technology. People gripe about how much technology has taken away from every day things and every day conversations with people. In some points of it, I can understand and see. But I have to disagree with most of it. Because of booms in technology, I can, and DO, talk to my mom, every day. I never miss a day. Be it over a text, or over IM, or even Skype. She can see her granddaughter, instead of watching her grow up in pictures. She can talk to her, and they have several conversations over IM (With me typing of course).
Does technology replace hugs? Not in a million years. Do I still miss my mama? Daily. So does my daughter. She always talks about her Grahmma and Grahmpa and how much she can't wait to see them again. But now...we can see each other, and we can talk daily, and I can send her a pic of a pot roast in the crock pot, and not think twice about it. Now if it can keep up, maybe in a few more years I'll be able to teleport them here for dinner once a week, and visa versa. Asking too much you think?
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Today's thought....wow have I been SLACKING!!!!????
Lots of things have been happening to me lately. I've gotten my fourth book published, I got an editing job with one of the coolest magazines ever, and the best part of my summer thus far, my Shima, flew my mama in from out of state, and surprised me with a two week visit. It's been pretty amazing and a lot of fun.
I've been doing a lot of horseback riding and I'm actually being given the opportunity to show in a couple of weeks. Holy cow am I nervous! But it's a great nervous. :) That's honestly all I got right now, there's been a lot more, but too much to write about tonight. But I'll start getting back into this habit of mine, and making some actual sense with my blogs again soon! :) I promise!
Lots of things have been happening to me lately. I've gotten my fourth book published, I got an editing job with one of the coolest magazines ever, and the best part of my summer thus far, my Shima, flew my mama in from out of state, and surprised me with a two week visit. It's been pretty amazing and a lot of fun.
I've been doing a lot of horseback riding and I'm actually being given the opportunity to show in a couple of weeks. Holy cow am I nervous! But it's a great nervous. :) That's honestly all I got right now, there's been a lot more, but too much to write about tonight. But I'll start getting back into this habit of mine, and making some actual sense with my blogs again soon! :) I promise!
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Todays thought...who I am.
I've been discovering a little bit about who I am versus society and people that I associate with and what I see. It's an interesting concept trying to figure out who you are, when those around you are giving you conflicting ideals of who you should be. Let me give a few examples. I stuck up for Katy Perry at her Grammy performance Sunday night. Automatically that makes me a devil worshiper. I stuck up for Miley Cyrus when the whole music awards thing happened. This instantly makes me a slut with no morals. I support my cousin's right to be happy and have equal rights. Of course you know this means that I hold no Christian values. I support the Tea Party and am a die hard Conservative. This makes me a close minded racist.
Now, do you want to know who I am? Or are you interested only in what other people think and say I should be? I know who I am now. It's taken me a long time to get there, but I'm there. I love Katy Perry and I think she's no more a devil worshiper than I am. She did an incredible job in that performance and I thought it was great. I believe in religious tolerance and more than just those that make me comfortable. I love talking about God and I love learning about other religions. This in no way changes me and how I feel about God and my walk with him. I am confident enough in the foundation of our relationship that learning, isn't going to make me sway.
I love Miley Cyrus. Have since she was Hanna Montana. Love her now, even if I wouldn't want my daughter watching her. Doesn't mean she's a bad person or that she has gone way off the deep end. She's smart. And she knows what she wants and how she wants to do it. Don't believe me. Consider for me if you will, Madonna. Or even more THIS generation, Britney Spears. Both brilliant, both wild for their days, both amazing singers, and both richer than I'll ever be. And here comes Miley. Just as brillaint, just as wild for her day, just as amazing a singer. Guess what? I don't dress like that, I don't flaunt myself like that, I don't let my daughter see it, though she does hear the songs and loves them. While I will raise her to respect herself, I will NOT raise her to be afraid or ashamed of any part of her body.
I support my cousin's right to be married. This is not about religion. This is not about my own feelings. This is simply about the fact that flat out and point blank, I feel like my gay cousin, has every much as right as I do, to get married, have benefits, be an equal. Have those rights afforded to him. I have no qualms with it. I'm a God fearing Christian. Do you have any questions of my faith? Please refer to the Katy Perry paragraph.
Lastly, I support the Tea Party and am a die hard Conservative. That's right. I said it! What about it? I don't like our current president. And I PROMISE YOU, it has ZERO to do with what race everyone THINKS he is or is not. I have my doubts regardless of whether or not unfounded, but it's personal. There are things about the man that I dislike. And I assure you, NONE of them, have ANYTHING to do with the color of his skin. I am not a racist. If you ask any of my friends, they will tell you that I have never treated them as anything but an equal, Black, White, Mexican, Native...you name it, I have several. Do you know why that is? My mama raised me to know that there was no such thing as color of skin. There was person, personality and inside emotion. Just like me. My daddy raised me to know that it didn't matter where you came from, what mattered was a persons mind. If they had things in common with you. If they liked the same foods, the same music, the same...ANYTHING, that could connect you with that person. Because as I was taught, chances are, if there's one thing, there are several others. I was not raised by EITHER parent that outside appearance mattered, and I'll be DAMNED if I teach my daughter anything else.
Anyway, this is me. God fearing child of Christ, lover of all, fighter of equal rights and seer of no outside appearance. Think of me what you will, but I know who I am. And my FAMILY (friends included), knows who I am. And you know...I don't need anyone to justify me. I am awesome. And I am who I am. And the people in my circle, love me for it. So bring it on world. I'm gonna be me. Who's strong enough to hang in?
I've been discovering a little bit about who I am versus society and people that I associate with and what I see. It's an interesting concept trying to figure out who you are, when those around you are giving you conflicting ideals of who you should be. Let me give a few examples. I stuck up for Katy Perry at her Grammy performance Sunday night. Automatically that makes me a devil worshiper. I stuck up for Miley Cyrus when the whole music awards thing happened. This instantly makes me a slut with no morals. I support my cousin's right to be happy and have equal rights. Of course you know this means that I hold no Christian values. I support the Tea Party and am a die hard Conservative. This makes me a close minded racist.
Now, do you want to know who I am? Or are you interested only in what other people think and say I should be? I know who I am now. It's taken me a long time to get there, but I'm there. I love Katy Perry and I think she's no more a devil worshiper than I am. She did an incredible job in that performance and I thought it was great. I believe in religious tolerance and more than just those that make me comfortable. I love talking about God and I love learning about other religions. This in no way changes me and how I feel about God and my walk with him. I am confident enough in the foundation of our relationship that learning, isn't going to make me sway.
I love Miley Cyrus. Have since she was Hanna Montana. Love her now, even if I wouldn't want my daughter watching her. Doesn't mean she's a bad person or that she has gone way off the deep end. She's smart. And she knows what she wants and how she wants to do it. Don't believe me. Consider for me if you will, Madonna. Or even more THIS generation, Britney Spears. Both brilliant, both wild for their days, both amazing singers, and both richer than I'll ever be. And here comes Miley. Just as brillaint, just as wild for her day, just as amazing a singer. Guess what? I don't dress like that, I don't flaunt myself like that, I don't let my daughter see it, though she does hear the songs and loves them. While I will raise her to respect herself, I will NOT raise her to be afraid or ashamed of any part of her body.
I support my cousin's right to be married. This is not about religion. This is not about my own feelings. This is simply about the fact that flat out and point blank, I feel like my gay cousin, has every much as right as I do, to get married, have benefits, be an equal. Have those rights afforded to him. I have no qualms with it. I'm a God fearing Christian. Do you have any questions of my faith? Please refer to the Katy Perry paragraph.
Lastly, I support the Tea Party and am a die hard Conservative. That's right. I said it! What about it? I don't like our current president. And I PROMISE YOU, it has ZERO to do with what race everyone THINKS he is or is not. I have my doubts regardless of whether or not unfounded, but it's personal. There are things about the man that I dislike. And I assure you, NONE of them, have ANYTHING to do with the color of his skin. I am not a racist. If you ask any of my friends, they will tell you that I have never treated them as anything but an equal, Black, White, Mexican, Native...you name it, I have several. Do you know why that is? My mama raised me to know that there was no such thing as color of skin. There was person, personality and inside emotion. Just like me. My daddy raised me to know that it didn't matter where you came from, what mattered was a persons mind. If they had things in common with you. If they liked the same foods, the same music, the same...ANYTHING, that could connect you with that person. Because as I was taught, chances are, if there's one thing, there are several others. I was not raised by EITHER parent that outside appearance mattered, and I'll be DAMNED if I teach my daughter anything else.
Anyway, this is me. God fearing child of Christ, lover of all, fighter of equal rights and seer of no outside appearance. Think of me what you will, but I know who I am. And my FAMILY (friends included), knows who I am. And you know...I don't need anyone to justify me. I am awesome. And I am who I am. And the people in my circle, love me for it. So bring it on world. I'm gonna be me. Who's strong enough to hang in?
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Today's thought...As the year comes to a close.
Normally I will do a good-bye last year, hello this year blog entry, and I probably still will this year, but as I reflect today, on Christmas Day, I realize, I'm kinda in a funk. Oh well. That time of year. I suffer from seasonal depression, not like this is a seriously shocking thing for me, right? Okay. But I was recently given news, and it's going to take me a long time to process.
At first it was, laughing thinking that it was funny when I was given news that...long story short, I don't have to worry about my ex any more. Which for me...is HUGE. And it's not...he's not dead or anything, but I don't have to worry any more about it. Okay so again, at first I'm laughing at the reason why. Then I'm elated, now, I'm not sure how to feel. I'm not sure how to even NOT be in fear any more? Does that make any sense at all?
I've been scared, in one form or another, and looking over my shoulder, for the last fifteen years. I don't know how NOT to be afraid. I don't know how NOT to look over my shoulder. I don't know how to take a deep breath and just...breathe. And don't get me wrong, I KNOW how to put on a good front. I do it almost every day and very few people can see through it. Even people I've known for years can be fooled. I'm that good at it. But now that I don't have to, I don't...I don't know how to feel.
Sometimes I just wish that I could get into contact with someone who has been through what I've been through, and can...not even take my hand...but just tell me it's okay to feel the way I do. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to be angry, or sad, or ready to throw my hands up. That it's okay to want to make peace at the expense of myself, than to fight any more. And I know that everyone that says the opposite to me, just wants to see me succeed and they don't want me to fail and even hate seeing me down at times. They want me to be strong. To not be walked on like a Welcome mat.
But it makes me feel...broken. Like there's something wrong with me. And essentially, I guess there really IS something wrong with me. But not what everyone else thinks. Something that is going to have to be worked on, within myself. I need to find a way to take the steps to get better. As bad as I would NEVER want anyone to go through what I went through, there are people out there who have been through it, and survived it, just like I have. (Though admittedly, at times, I wonder if I have survived it yet.) There's got to be someone out there who can say, "THIS is how you get past this. THIS is what you tell yourself when you're down. THIS is what happens when you don't. And more than anything, it's OKAY that you are the way you are."
So now you ask the obvious. Why don't I just take my own advice, tell this to myself and be done with it? I mean, that's the advice that I give to other people in my situation. That's what I tell someone else, when they're going through a rough time. If it was that easy. Sometimes, I want someone who knows, to just take me in a big hug, and tell me that it's okay. That it's okay to cry about it still, it's okay to be afraid, that it's okay that after all this time, I still shake, when I talk about it. That it's alright to not want to go to a certain place, because someone from my past life might be in there, and I don't want to deal with it. That I'm not broken. And you know, I feel so bad about saying that too. Because people that love me, have told me, at first, that it's okay. And there was that small part of me, that said "You have no idea what I've been through. How do you know it's okay? How do you know, I'm going to be okay?"
And now, I look around, and everyone is just tired of telling me. You would think after fifteen years, I'd get it. And I see it. And I mean lets face it, wouldn't you be tired of fighting the same battle for fifteen years and nothing changing? Where would you draw the line? Where should I? And where do I go from here, now that I know I don't have to worry about it any more?
Normally I will do a good-bye last year, hello this year blog entry, and I probably still will this year, but as I reflect today, on Christmas Day, I realize, I'm kinda in a funk. Oh well. That time of year. I suffer from seasonal depression, not like this is a seriously shocking thing for me, right? Okay. But I was recently given news, and it's going to take me a long time to process.
At first it was, laughing thinking that it was funny when I was given news that...long story short, I don't have to worry about my ex any more. Which for me...is HUGE. And it's not...he's not dead or anything, but I don't have to worry any more about it. Okay so again, at first I'm laughing at the reason why. Then I'm elated, now, I'm not sure how to feel. I'm not sure how to even NOT be in fear any more? Does that make any sense at all?
I've been scared, in one form or another, and looking over my shoulder, for the last fifteen years. I don't know how NOT to be afraid. I don't know how NOT to look over my shoulder. I don't know how to take a deep breath and just...breathe. And don't get me wrong, I KNOW how to put on a good front. I do it almost every day and very few people can see through it. Even people I've known for years can be fooled. I'm that good at it. But now that I don't have to, I don't...I don't know how to feel.
Sometimes I just wish that I could get into contact with someone who has been through what I've been through, and can...not even take my hand...but just tell me it's okay to feel the way I do. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to be angry, or sad, or ready to throw my hands up. That it's okay to want to make peace at the expense of myself, than to fight any more. And I know that everyone that says the opposite to me, just wants to see me succeed and they don't want me to fail and even hate seeing me down at times. They want me to be strong. To not be walked on like a Welcome mat.
But it makes me feel...broken. Like there's something wrong with me. And essentially, I guess there really IS something wrong with me. But not what everyone else thinks. Something that is going to have to be worked on, within myself. I need to find a way to take the steps to get better. As bad as I would NEVER want anyone to go through what I went through, there are people out there who have been through it, and survived it, just like I have. (Though admittedly, at times, I wonder if I have survived it yet.) There's got to be someone out there who can say, "THIS is how you get past this. THIS is what you tell yourself when you're down. THIS is what happens when you don't. And more than anything, it's OKAY that you are the way you are."
So now you ask the obvious. Why don't I just take my own advice, tell this to myself and be done with it? I mean, that's the advice that I give to other people in my situation. That's what I tell someone else, when they're going through a rough time. If it was that easy. Sometimes, I want someone who knows, to just take me in a big hug, and tell me that it's okay. That it's okay to cry about it still, it's okay to be afraid, that it's okay that after all this time, I still shake, when I talk about it. That it's alright to not want to go to a certain place, because someone from my past life might be in there, and I don't want to deal with it. That I'm not broken. And you know, I feel so bad about saying that too. Because people that love me, have told me, at first, that it's okay. And there was that small part of me, that said "You have no idea what I've been through. How do you know it's okay? How do you know, I'm going to be okay?"
And now, I look around, and everyone is just tired of telling me. You would think after fifteen years, I'd get it. And I see it. And I mean lets face it, wouldn't you be tired of fighting the same battle for fifteen years and nothing changing? Where would you draw the line? Where should I? And where do I go from here, now that I know I don't have to worry about it any more?
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Todays thought...Kinda a funny. Stories from behind the counter.
I used to work at the Waffle House. One of my MANY...many jobs in my past. And let me tell you, I have LOTS of stories. But I wanted to share a few tonight, to make those smile, if you should so need it. These, are a few of those stories.
Story 1 - Picture if you will, a warm sunny day (Actually it's been a while ago, so I don't remember if it was warm or not), and a man with a rough look and in a three piece suit walks in, sits at the high-bar and grumbles, "Coffee." Not entirely sure what on Earth possesses me to do it, I have no clue, but without missing a beat, I look right in his eyes and I say "Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor! Not a waitress! Get your own damn coffee!" Stunned, he sat there for a second and a huge smile crossed his face and he told me that he'd just had a really bad day, and my playing, had just made his whole day. He left me a $30 tip for a cup of coffee.
Story 2 - Picture again, a dark and stormy night (No, it was just dark, it was like eleven at night) a family walks in and sits at the high bar. There's six seats at the bar and the husband, wife and children take up all six seats. All in a good spirits but clearly tired from a long journey, they give their order, I put their food down in front of them, and while I have down time I proceed to do the dishes in the sink. Now, there was this spray nozzle, that was just to the left of a pressure washer, that worked REALLY EFFICIENTLY at pre-washing the dishes before sticking them in the dish machine/sanitizer. Not paying whole hearted attention to what I was doing as there was a lot of stuff going on that night, I proceed to spray out a bowl. And it was a little bowl, of which I'm not realizing at first that as I spray, the water is merely being diverted. Where you might ask? Yes, over the counter and onto this extremely tired father. Standing there with my mouth open, realizing that I was spraying water (Which thankfully I realized extremely quickly), I let go of the pressure washer and trying with difficulty not to laugh while scared to death this guy was gonna yell, I said "Free shower with every meal?" The whole lot of them started laughing, dad included, and continued eating as I fixed them more food and didn't charge them for their meal. He also (coincidentally) left me a $30 tip.
Story 3 - Man walks into the store. I'm working second shift and it's DEAD. No one in the store but me and the cook who is prepping in the back room for third. He pulls up in a Lincoln Navigator, three piece suit, the whole shebang. He walks in and heads straight for the bathroom. Now, it's not uncommon for someone to come in, JUST to use the bathroom. No big deal, happens all the time. But that day I was in rare form and for whatever reason, I yelled "Hey!" Turning around he makes eye contact and I go "Are you fixin to just use the bathroom?" Not sure how to answer he says yes. I proceed with "There's a five dollar fee for using the bathroom without making a purchase." He stared at me for a minute, realized I wasn't serious, smiled, and made his way to the bathrooms. I'll be damn if that man didn't walk back out, slap a $5 on the counter and say "For the bathroom" before walking out. It was so funny.
These are the things I'll never forget about "The Awful Waffle" and things that I would never give up either. Those were fun times, and bad times and all of them helped make me who I am. These I shared are definitely funnies. More are sure to come! :)
I used to work at the Waffle House. One of my MANY...many jobs in my past. And let me tell you, I have LOTS of stories. But I wanted to share a few tonight, to make those smile, if you should so need it. These, are a few of those stories.
Story 1 - Picture if you will, a warm sunny day (Actually it's been a while ago, so I don't remember if it was warm or not), and a man with a rough look and in a three piece suit walks in, sits at the high-bar and grumbles, "Coffee." Not entirely sure what on Earth possesses me to do it, I have no clue, but without missing a beat, I look right in his eyes and I say "Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor! Not a waitress! Get your own damn coffee!" Stunned, he sat there for a second and a huge smile crossed his face and he told me that he'd just had a really bad day, and my playing, had just made his whole day. He left me a $30 tip for a cup of coffee.
Story 2 - Picture again, a dark and stormy night (No, it was just dark, it was like eleven at night) a family walks in and sits at the high bar. There's six seats at the bar and the husband, wife and children take up all six seats. All in a good spirits but clearly tired from a long journey, they give their order, I put their food down in front of them, and while I have down time I proceed to do the dishes in the sink. Now, there was this spray nozzle, that was just to the left of a pressure washer, that worked REALLY EFFICIENTLY at pre-washing the dishes before sticking them in the dish machine/sanitizer. Not paying whole hearted attention to what I was doing as there was a lot of stuff going on that night, I proceed to spray out a bowl. And it was a little bowl, of which I'm not realizing at first that as I spray, the water is merely being diverted. Where you might ask? Yes, over the counter and onto this extremely tired father. Standing there with my mouth open, realizing that I was spraying water (Which thankfully I realized extremely quickly), I let go of the pressure washer and trying with difficulty not to laugh while scared to death this guy was gonna yell, I said "Free shower with every meal?" The whole lot of them started laughing, dad included, and continued eating as I fixed them more food and didn't charge them for their meal. He also (coincidentally) left me a $30 tip.
Story 3 - Man walks into the store. I'm working second shift and it's DEAD. No one in the store but me and the cook who is prepping in the back room for third. He pulls up in a Lincoln Navigator, three piece suit, the whole shebang. He walks in and heads straight for the bathroom. Now, it's not uncommon for someone to come in, JUST to use the bathroom. No big deal, happens all the time. But that day I was in rare form and for whatever reason, I yelled "Hey!" Turning around he makes eye contact and I go "Are you fixin to just use the bathroom?" Not sure how to answer he says yes. I proceed with "There's a five dollar fee for using the bathroom without making a purchase." He stared at me for a minute, realized I wasn't serious, smiled, and made his way to the bathrooms. I'll be damn if that man didn't walk back out, slap a $5 on the counter and say "For the bathroom" before walking out. It was so funny.
These are the things I'll never forget about "The Awful Waffle" and things that I would never give up either. Those were fun times, and bad times and all of them helped make me who I am. These I shared are definitely funnies. More are sure to come! :)
Monday, October 21, 2013
Today's thought...Advocate for my mama!
Okay so...I don't know who to talk to about this, but I want to get this out. In 2006 my mama, who has always been my biggest advocate, so dammit, I'm gonna be hers, got a Cochlear implant. Now understand, my mama has been deaf her whole life. She has had hearing aids that work to an extent, but with a 20% hearing loss in one ear, and a 60% loss in another, caused from an illness when she was 2 weeks old, she's been doing good to hear you scream at her from behind. Fast forward to 2006. She has a Cochlear Implant. Something REVOLUTIONARY to the deaf world. It basically is a massive surgery, where they put a piece of metal in your head and run wires to your brain that tells your brain that you're hearing. You're getting vibrations and electron pulses and it opens a WHOLE NEW WORLD to those who are deaf. And I mean to the point that it made me CRY, to know that my mama heard church bells from half a mile away. Something as simple as the refrigerator running, was an absolute amazing accomplishment. And I was with my mama EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, including going to meetings for those out there who have had or are curious about getting a Cochlear Implant.
Fast forward to 2013. My mom has had her implant for 7 years. The processor for her implant isn't designed to last 7 years. SO she gets with her audiologist and they run around and come to find out, the hearing part of her insurance only covers a hearing aid (Which she has one still, since she was only able to be approved for 1 Cochlear implant) for $900 every three years. My mama has a PROFOUND HEARING LOSS! She can't get one of those $19.95 Bluebird things that do NOTHING for her condition. To make it worse, she needs a new processor for her Cochlear Implant. The hearing part of her insurance won't cover it. They say it's a medical condition. The medical part of her insurance says "This is an elective, you have to pay out of pocket." Really? Because in 2006 you covered it 100%! Then we get to the brass tax. In 2006, my daddy was a full time employee. Fast fwd 7 years and he's retired and doesn't have any say in what his insurance covers and doesn't.
WTF PEOPLE! Really!? NOW, my mama has to jump through red tape and hoops, only to find out, it's elective and she has to pay out of pocket 100% for a $4000 processor (not exact amount), for a replacement. Really people!? Are you able to come off of $4k for something to help you hear? Are you able to just jump off of $2500 (Which it what it costs for a REAL hearing aid right now, WITHOUT the bells and whistles.) for a new hearing aid? Where does it stop? Where is the justice for my mama, and people like her who want simply, to be able to hear, like you and I do. Imagine if you couldn't hear for 1 hour. And I mean honestly, TRY IT. Now, imagine living your entire life without hearing anything, and when you do finally get to hear something, someone telling you, that you can only continue, if you pay an amount that you can't afford. Now, how do you feel? Just saying.
Okay so...I don't know who to talk to about this, but I want to get this out. In 2006 my mama, who has always been my biggest advocate, so dammit, I'm gonna be hers, got a Cochlear implant. Now understand, my mama has been deaf her whole life. She has had hearing aids that work to an extent, but with a 20% hearing loss in one ear, and a 60% loss in another, caused from an illness when she was 2 weeks old, she's been doing good to hear you scream at her from behind. Fast forward to 2006. She has a Cochlear Implant. Something REVOLUTIONARY to the deaf world. It basically is a massive surgery, where they put a piece of metal in your head and run wires to your brain that tells your brain that you're hearing. You're getting vibrations and electron pulses and it opens a WHOLE NEW WORLD to those who are deaf. And I mean to the point that it made me CRY, to know that my mama heard church bells from half a mile away. Something as simple as the refrigerator running, was an absolute amazing accomplishment. And I was with my mama EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, including going to meetings for those out there who have had or are curious about getting a Cochlear Implant.
Fast forward to 2013. My mom has had her implant for 7 years. The processor for her implant isn't designed to last 7 years. SO she gets with her audiologist and they run around and come to find out, the hearing part of her insurance only covers a hearing aid (Which she has one still, since she was only able to be approved for 1 Cochlear implant) for $900 every three years. My mama has a PROFOUND HEARING LOSS! She can't get one of those $19.95 Bluebird things that do NOTHING for her condition. To make it worse, she needs a new processor for her Cochlear Implant. The hearing part of her insurance won't cover it. They say it's a medical condition. The medical part of her insurance says "This is an elective, you have to pay out of pocket." Really? Because in 2006 you covered it 100%! Then we get to the brass tax. In 2006, my daddy was a full time employee. Fast fwd 7 years and he's retired and doesn't have any say in what his insurance covers and doesn't.
WTF PEOPLE! Really!? NOW, my mama has to jump through red tape and hoops, only to find out, it's elective and she has to pay out of pocket 100% for a $4000 processor (not exact amount), for a replacement. Really people!? Are you able to come off of $4k for something to help you hear? Are you able to just jump off of $2500 (Which it what it costs for a REAL hearing aid right now, WITHOUT the bells and whistles.) for a new hearing aid? Where does it stop? Where is the justice for my mama, and people like her who want simply, to be able to hear, like you and I do. Imagine if you couldn't hear for 1 hour. And I mean honestly, TRY IT. Now, imagine living your entire life without hearing anything, and when you do finally get to hear something, someone telling you, that you can only continue, if you pay an amount that you can't afford. Now, how do you feel? Just saying.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Today's thought...delving into self.
I recently went down and saw my mom and dad. My rocks. Now every time we get together for a visit because we live some 700 miles away from each other, it's for at least a weak at a time, and there's always, ALWAYS one night, when my daddy and I get drunk and talk like we've never talked before. This time though, we got DEEP. Deeper than ever before. And my dad told me, I needed to forgive myself for things done years ago because he didn't want to have any more drunk convos that wound up with me in tears for shit that happened forever ago that he's already forgotten.
So we went to church while I was down there. And admittedly, it's been a while since I've been to church...shame on me, I know. But regardless, I went and the whole sermon was about everything my daddy and I had talked about, concerning letting go of my past. As I wrote a letter today to a talk show host, I realized that I haven't forgiven myself for stuff I've done to the people closest to me even though they've already forgiven me for it. I LOVE Dr. Phil. And I watch his show all the time. And all the time he talks about owning up to your faults.
But to what extent? And I don't mean that against Dr Phil either. Because there are people out there who don't take any responsibility for anything. And then there are people out there who get told by their dad's that they take too much responsibility for everything in the world and need to stop doing that. So then where do I go from there? And yes, that gets addressed too in my daytime show. It's just sometimes harder to take that aspect and run with it. Most people don't understand the gravity of the brain of one who blames themselves for everything.
It's not something that can be explained, and simply is, for those of us that take everything to heart. People that don't understand, never will. And honestly, being on this side of it, I hope no one does understand. Even if I do feel like I'm the only one that feels like this, while knowing that there are others, regardless of whether or not I know them. You cannot make someone understand what it is to feel guilty for everything and anything known wrong in the free world. Believe me, I've been called an idiot, and stupid for thinking things were my fault. I've been told I'm too dramatic and that I'm never going to get over things if I don't quit taking things so personally. And believe me, I take every word to heart.
Maybe that's what's wrong with me. I feel to strongly first off, and then I was with someone who exploited that to the fact that sometimes it's quite frankly, hard to function. The point where my husband can't say something out of frustration, that will have absolutely NOTHING to do with me, without me thinking it's directly related to something I have or have not done. And I can't even imagine, living my life without guilt or sorrow and regret.
I can't imagine being free of my own demons. Heh. I sit here now, and can't imagine being free of my own devices. Sadly, can't imagine my husband, bless his heart, who does everything and anything possible that he can, to help me, being free of my demons. And then I think about my little girl, and how much I want her to be so much better than I will ever be.
I pretend to be alright and I paste on a smile that the whole world sees, except for those who know me. And I wonder when I'll get down to the root of me, and show the world who I am inside. Despite what I am on the inside, and despite what I've been through, I still like to make people happy. I still like to make people laugh. I still get all geek with the people that are really close to me, which admittedly I can count on one hand. I'm still me underneath all the crap. If I could strip through the crap so that the real me could shine through...that is the mission I guess.
So as I raise my glass, I toast, to missions, and to the real me. Even if I rarely even see it myself. I am still there. Banging on the doors of my past to get out of this trap that I've managed to put myself in. Here's to self. And finding ways to be the person that I really am.
And heres what it boils down to. There is nothing about me that makes sense. There are things that have happened to me, that have shaped who I am today. I may not like some of those things, but I have to live with them, because try as I may, I cannot change who I am. I cannot change how I feel about things. I cannot explain how I feel, nor can I expect anyone who has never been through what I have, to understand how I feel. There are times that it boils down to me. You either take me or you dont. You love me or you hate me. I am me and I'm working through who I am. Those that choose to stay with me, see the me inside, struggling to break through. Those who don't...it was nice to know you and I'm sorry I was too much. But you were awesome.
I recently went down and saw my mom and dad. My rocks. Now every time we get together for a visit because we live some 700 miles away from each other, it's for at least a weak at a time, and there's always, ALWAYS one night, when my daddy and I get drunk and talk like we've never talked before. This time though, we got DEEP. Deeper than ever before. And my dad told me, I needed to forgive myself for things done years ago because he didn't want to have any more drunk convos that wound up with me in tears for shit that happened forever ago that he's already forgotten.
So we went to church while I was down there. And admittedly, it's been a while since I've been to church...shame on me, I know. But regardless, I went and the whole sermon was about everything my daddy and I had talked about, concerning letting go of my past. As I wrote a letter today to a talk show host, I realized that I haven't forgiven myself for stuff I've done to the people closest to me even though they've already forgiven me for it. I LOVE Dr. Phil. And I watch his show all the time. And all the time he talks about owning up to your faults.
But to what extent? And I don't mean that against Dr Phil either. Because there are people out there who don't take any responsibility for anything. And then there are people out there who get told by their dad's that they take too much responsibility for everything in the world and need to stop doing that. So then where do I go from there? And yes, that gets addressed too in my daytime show. It's just sometimes harder to take that aspect and run with it. Most people don't understand the gravity of the brain of one who blames themselves for everything.
It's not something that can be explained, and simply is, for those of us that take everything to heart. People that don't understand, never will. And honestly, being on this side of it, I hope no one does understand. Even if I do feel like I'm the only one that feels like this, while knowing that there are others, regardless of whether or not I know them. You cannot make someone understand what it is to feel guilty for everything and anything known wrong in the free world. Believe me, I've been called an idiot, and stupid for thinking things were my fault. I've been told I'm too dramatic and that I'm never going to get over things if I don't quit taking things so personally. And believe me, I take every word to heart.
Maybe that's what's wrong with me. I feel to strongly first off, and then I was with someone who exploited that to the fact that sometimes it's quite frankly, hard to function. The point where my husband can't say something out of frustration, that will have absolutely NOTHING to do with me, without me thinking it's directly related to something I have or have not done. And I can't even imagine, living my life without guilt or sorrow and regret.
I can't imagine being free of my own demons. Heh. I sit here now, and can't imagine being free of my own devices. Sadly, can't imagine my husband, bless his heart, who does everything and anything possible that he can, to help me, being free of my demons. And then I think about my little girl, and how much I want her to be so much better than I will ever be.
I pretend to be alright and I paste on a smile that the whole world sees, except for those who know me. And I wonder when I'll get down to the root of me, and show the world who I am inside. Despite what I am on the inside, and despite what I've been through, I still like to make people happy. I still like to make people laugh. I still get all geek with the people that are really close to me, which admittedly I can count on one hand. I'm still me underneath all the crap. If I could strip through the crap so that the real me could shine through...that is the mission I guess.
So as I raise my glass, I toast, to missions, and to the real me. Even if I rarely even see it myself. I am still there. Banging on the doors of my past to get out of this trap that I've managed to put myself in. Here's to self. And finding ways to be the person that I really am.
And heres what it boils down to. There is nothing about me that makes sense. There are things that have happened to me, that have shaped who I am today. I may not like some of those things, but I have to live with them, because try as I may, I cannot change who I am. I cannot change how I feel about things. I cannot explain how I feel, nor can I expect anyone who has never been through what I have, to understand how I feel. There are times that it boils down to me. You either take me or you dont. You love me or you hate me. I am me and I'm working through who I am. Those that choose to stay with me, see the me inside, struggling to break through. Those who don't...it was nice to know you and I'm sorry I was too much. But you were awesome.
Monday, September 09, 2013
Today's thought...Wondering.
Okay so, I'm watching Dr. Phil and I sit there and I think about things I've seen and people I know, and it strikes me suddenly. What is it about me, that wasn't strong enough to see that what was going on with me, was just bullying? I mean, think about it. You rarely hear of men being bullied. Kids, yes. Teens, yes. Women, yes. Men...rarely if ever. So what is it about us women, that makes us weaker?
And some women are going to read this and be like "That's bull shit, you're weak, I'm not." and that's fine. If you feel like that, then I genuinely hope you're right. I genuinely hope that you find someone that doesn't ever do to you what's been done to me.
But let me tell you, from everything I've ever been through, after years of my husband and him helping me with everything that he's helped me with, I'm STILL scared of my ex. I'm STILL to the point that if I ever ran into him I'd probably pass out. Literally.
So what is wrong with me, that I can't get over something that happened to me fifteen years ago? What is it with me that I don't feel comfortable walking around the same town I last saw him in without clamming up, looking at the floor and shrinking to invisibility. Why wasn't I strong enough? Why am I not strong enough still? What's wrong with me? Even my HUSBAND asks me why I'm scared of my ex still after all this time. And I have no answer. I have no response. What is wrong with me?
I'm open to opinion and criticism. Just...be nice.
Okay so, I'm watching Dr. Phil and I sit there and I think about things I've seen and people I know, and it strikes me suddenly. What is it about me, that wasn't strong enough to see that what was going on with me, was just bullying? I mean, think about it. You rarely hear of men being bullied. Kids, yes. Teens, yes. Women, yes. Men...rarely if ever. So what is it about us women, that makes us weaker?
And some women are going to read this and be like "That's bull shit, you're weak, I'm not." and that's fine. If you feel like that, then I genuinely hope you're right. I genuinely hope that you find someone that doesn't ever do to you what's been done to me.
But let me tell you, from everything I've ever been through, after years of my husband and him helping me with everything that he's helped me with, I'm STILL scared of my ex. I'm STILL to the point that if I ever ran into him I'd probably pass out. Literally.
So what is wrong with me, that I can't get over something that happened to me fifteen years ago? What is it with me that I don't feel comfortable walking around the same town I last saw him in without clamming up, looking at the floor and shrinking to invisibility. Why wasn't I strong enough? Why am I not strong enough still? What's wrong with me? Even my HUSBAND asks me why I'm scared of my ex still after all this time. And I have no answer. I have no response. What is wrong with me?
I'm open to opinion and criticism. Just...be nice.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Today's thought...Lots of flack.
I'm probably gonna get lots of flack for first off posting about this, and second for posting my opinions on this. But that being said...here goes. Miley Cyrus. Oh yeah. I'm going there. From Hanna Montana to what she is now. Now, I'll tell you, I watched the video for We Can't Stop. I also saw the thing on the VMA's. Do you know what I saw though? Underneath a girl who is on stage, doing what she does, not truly understanding what she is doing. Underneath all of the hype to become an image that isn't Disney. Underneath all of the hype. There is a kid, who is finding herself, discovering what friendship is about, and being her own person. Do I condone doing it on the big screen for the world to see? Her life up until now has been front page, why should this be any different?
Come on people, admit it. She's not doing anything we haven't all done with our friends at one time when we were her age. Only difference? She's doing it on television. She is being what everyone thinks she should be. If you watch her...and I mean REALLY WATCH her show on the VMA's, she's not this evil person everyone is making her out to be. She is a kid, projecting an image, that the people who pay her paycheck, tell her she should project. She's still the kid that grew up in Franklin Tennessee and loves horses and her parents and brother and sisters. She's still that girl that loves her best friend and all of her friends that she has. She's still the girl that loves her family and her boyfriend and knows that life is what you make it.
Instead of trashing her for her video or the way she's acting, which grant you I wouldn't want my daughter to see, but I think she's just discovering herself really, why don't you look beyond the hype, beyond the show, and see the amazing person she is inside. Instead of looking at the bad of the video, look at the lyrics of the song. And no, I'm not talking about the Dancing with Molly line either. I'm talking about the reference to "Remember only God can judge us, so forget the haters, cuz somebody loves ya..."
If that doesn't say right there that she's still the same girl that grew up in a small town in Tennessee, then you're not looking close enough. You're skimming the surface. You're looking at the negative and not looking deep enough. You're buying into the hype of what everyone thinks she is and should be and you're not looking at the girl who's singing it. Look past the video and all the negative, and see the positive.
A bunch of friends, just having a good time and having a party. Just having fun and getting away from all of the media. The ability to be yourself. Look at this video and tell me that you yourself haven't ever done something similar with a bunch of friends when you were twenty. Or maybe younger. Tell me you've never been drunk and done something stupid. And there's no drugs or alcohol in the video. Okay, there's a reference (Which I'm way out of the loop because I still don't get the Molly thing), but what the hell!? Tell me that you're better than this girl who is doing the best she can and in my opinion a damn good job, to live in the spot light like she does without losing herself completely. Tell me you could do what she's done and still be in as good a shape.
Miley, if you ever read this sweetheart, you are a great kid. (I use the term kid loosely. Anyone younger than me is still a kid. LoL!) I could care less what you do on some stupid video or at the VMA's. You've got a high standard to live up to and personally, I think you're doing an incredible job. Keep doing what you do darlin! Keep being you and don't let all this crap get you down. You're amazing. The only people in this world that you have to answer to are your family and God. If you can look at them with a straight face and tell them you're doing alright, then the rest is just fluff. You're real supporters are those that believe in you through all the crap, and still love you through the media. You - Are - Awesome. Never doubt that and never doubt yourself.
That's the end of my rant for the night. I welcome any feed back but if you're going to argue, do it tactfully. I will delete if you're ugly about anything. This blog site has always been about my opinion and you are welcome to disagree, as well as I'd love a debate, but be nice.
I'm probably gonna get lots of flack for first off posting about this, and second for posting my opinions on this. But that being said...here goes. Miley Cyrus. Oh yeah. I'm going there. From Hanna Montana to what she is now. Now, I'll tell you, I watched the video for We Can't Stop. I also saw the thing on the VMA's. Do you know what I saw though? Underneath a girl who is on stage, doing what she does, not truly understanding what she is doing. Underneath all of the hype to become an image that isn't Disney. Underneath all of the hype. There is a kid, who is finding herself, discovering what friendship is about, and being her own person. Do I condone doing it on the big screen for the world to see? Her life up until now has been front page, why should this be any different?
Come on people, admit it. She's not doing anything we haven't all done with our friends at one time when we were her age. Only difference? She's doing it on television. She is being what everyone thinks she should be. If you watch her...and I mean REALLY WATCH her show on the VMA's, she's not this evil person everyone is making her out to be. She is a kid, projecting an image, that the people who pay her paycheck, tell her she should project. She's still the kid that grew up in Franklin Tennessee and loves horses and her parents and brother and sisters. She's still that girl that loves her best friend and all of her friends that she has. She's still the girl that loves her family and her boyfriend and knows that life is what you make it.
Instead of trashing her for her video or the way she's acting, which grant you I wouldn't want my daughter to see, but I think she's just discovering herself really, why don't you look beyond the hype, beyond the show, and see the amazing person she is inside. Instead of looking at the bad of the video, look at the lyrics of the song. And no, I'm not talking about the Dancing with Molly line either. I'm talking about the reference to "Remember only God can judge us, so forget the haters, cuz somebody loves ya..."
If that doesn't say right there that she's still the same girl that grew up in a small town in Tennessee, then you're not looking close enough. You're skimming the surface. You're looking at the negative and not looking deep enough. You're buying into the hype of what everyone thinks she is and should be and you're not looking at the girl who's singing it. Look past the video and all the negative, and see the positive.
A bunch of friends, just having a good time and having a party. Just having fun and getting away from all of the media. The ability to be yourself. Look at this video and tell me that you yourself haven't ever done something similar with a bunch of friends when you were twenty. Or maybe younger. Tell me you've never been drunk and done something stupid. And there's no drugs or alcohol in the video. Okay, there's a reference (Which I'm way out of the loop because I still don't get the Molly thing), but what the hell!? Tell me that you're better than this girl who is doing the best she can and in my opinion a damn good job, to live in the spot light like she does without losing herself completely. Tell me you could do what she's done and still be in as good a shape.
Miley, if you ever read this sweetheart, you are a great kid. (I use the term kid loosely. Anyone younger than me is still a kid. LoL!) I could care less what you do on some stupid video or at the VMA's. You've got a high standard to live up to and personally, I think you're doing an incredible job. Keep doing what you do darlin! Keep being you and don't let all this crap get you down. You're amazing. The only people in this world that you have to answer to are your family and God. If you can look at them with a straight face and tell them you're doing alright, then the rest is just fluff. You're real supporters are those that believe in you through all the crap, and still love you through the media. You - Are - Awesome. Never doubt that and never doubt yourself.
That's the end of my rant for the night. I welcome any feed back but if you're going to argue, do it tactfully. I will delete if you're ugly about anything. This blog site has always been about my opinion and you are welcome to disagree, as well as I'd love a debate, but be nice.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Today's thought...Finding myself, isn't as easy as one would think.
I find it's very easy to get depressed and down in the dumps while trying to find yourself again and get back to you. I've found that as you explore the confines of self, you start to remember times when you were this fun loving person. And then once you realize that he/she is within yourself, it's depressing to realize just how far from start, you've actually come.
I was talking to a friend that has known me for almost 20 years and we started reminiscing when I was in high school and how I used to have no fear. How I used to love to pick and play and never worried about how it came across because I knew that I was just playing around, and people gravitated toward me. Now, if you take the average person, put me in a room with them and leave us alone for an hour, after that hour, they probably wont be able to tell you much about me. I don't talk about myself. I rarely pick and play any more, and I've actually become comfortable with being invisible. In fact I'm to the point of that now, that I intentionally try to disappear when I'm somewhere, so that I don't get noticed or picked out of a crowd.
People that I worked with, who knew me for the whole 7 years I worked there, couldn't tell you my name, but they could tell you that my hair is red and I have a section that I keep braided and beaded at all times. And that I used to smoke (what one of my co-workers called them) Barbie Tampons (Capri's). A few of them could tell you what I drove, but only a very select few could tell you anything about me. And even fewer still could tell you what my husband's name is, what my favorite food was, and what my fish's name was. Or what I love doing in my spare time.
It's hard. And things on the home front aren't making things any easier in how I'm feeling. Got one family member always angry, and another having a hard time medically and it is REALLY weighing on me as of late. And for some reason lately I've taken all of my friends problems to heart. And let me tell you, that's a lot of weight. I'm not sure why I've taken it upon myself, but I really have.
I saw something on Facebook the other day, and I'm telling you now, I don't know who or where it came from, but I know that I shared it because it was a very apt depiction of how I'm feeling. It said: "What does depression feel like?" he whispered. "It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing." That, is honestly how it feels. And let me tell you, I have almost physically drowned in real life. And it sucks! The biggest difference is, when you drown in real life, it doesn't hurt. The panic sucks, but it doesn't physically hurt, to drown. With depression, you can feel it all. You feel the drowning, the inability to breathe, the jealousy of seeing everyone else breathing around you, and the panic of knowing you can't.
So now, I need to get myself out of this. Thankfully my daughter is helping with that, and my exercising is helping too. Seeing my mom would do wonders and I'm hoping like hell that will happen soon. My mom has this way to make me feel like everything is okay, just with a hug and a good cry. I talk to my mom every day, and don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world, but it's not like being able to just run to her and get a hug, or a good kick in the ass when I need it. Ugh. I'm open to suggestions.
I find it's very easy to get depressed and down in the dumps while trying to find yourself again and get back to you. I've found that as you explore the confines of self, you start to remember times when you were this fun loving person. And then once you realize that he/she is within yourself, it's depressing to realize just how far from start, you've actually come.
I was talking to a friend that has known me for almost 20 years and we started reminiscing when I was in high school and how I used to have no fear. How I used to love to pick and play and never worried about how it came across because I knew that I was just playing around, and people gravitated toward me. Now, if you take the average person, put me in a room with them and leave us alone for an hour, after that hour, they probably wont be able to tell you much about me. I don't talk about myself. I rarely pick and play any more, and I've actually become comfortable with being invisible. In fact I'm to the point of that now, that I intentionally try to disappear when I'm somewhere, so that I don't get noticed or picked out of a crowd.
People that I worked with, who knew me for the whole 7 years I worked there, couldn't tell you my name, but they could tell you that my hair is red and I have a section that I keep braided and beaded at all times. And that I used to smoke (what one of my co-workers called them) Barbie Tampons (Capri's). A few of them could tell you what I drove, but only a very select few could tell you anything about me. And even fewer still could tell you what my husband's name is, what my favorite food was, and what my fish's name was. Or what I love doing in my spare time.
It's hard. And things on the home front aren't making things any easier in how I'm feeling. Got one family member always angry, and another having a hard time medically and it is REALLY weighing on me as of late. And for some reason lately I've taken all of my friends problems to heart. And let me tell you, that's a lot of weight. I'm not sure why I've taken it upon myself, but I really have.
I saw something on Facebook the other day, and I'm telling you now, I don't know who or where it came from, but I know that I shared it because it was a very apt depiction of how I'm feeling. It said: "What does depression feel like?" he whispered. "It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing." That, is honestly how it feels. And let me tell you, I have almost physically drowned in real life. And it sucks! The biggest difference is, when you drown in real life, it doesn't hurt. The panic sucks, but it doesn't physically hurt, to drown. With depression, you can feel it all. You feel the drowning, the inability to breathe, the jealousy of seeing everyone else breathing around you, and the panic of knowing you can't.
So now, I need to get myself out of this. Thankfully my daughter is helping with that, and my exercising is helping too. Seeing my mom would do wonders and I'm hoping like hell that will happen soon. My mom has this way to make me feel like everything is okay, just with a hug and a good cry. I talk to my mom every day, and don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world, but it's not like being able to just run to her and get a hug, or a good kick in the ass when I need it. Ugh. I'm open to suggestions.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Todays thought...finding myself. And now this is going to be one of those all over the place blogs so I apologize in advance, as I work through things on my own.
So...I think I'm depressed. And I think I have been for a little while. I've just lost the heart for all the stuff I was doing. So I got to thinking about why. Now I don't want to go to my doctor because I just don't want pills shoved down my throat. Not saying that she would, and she probably wouldn't if I asked her not to, but I don't think it's chemical, I think it's mental. And no. I don't think I'm just a basket case.
But that being said, I was asked the other day by Frog, why I feel like I can't be myself around anyone. And I really thought about that. Frog was right. I'm not me around many people. And maybe it's because I feel like I can't be me around people. Let me explain what I mean. Frog and I have the same annoying traits, so when we're around each other, quite honestly, we don't annoy each other. And that's when it hit me. That's what it is. I am an irritating person.
I understand it, I accept it, and I get it. It's just me. I have always had my quirks and they aren't going away any time soon. I'm loud sometimes...well really most of the time...I don't have a filter, I'm a smart ass, I run my mouth and don't know when to stop. I like to laugh too much, I'm OCD with an anxiety disorder, and honestly, I realized, that outside of my bad sides, I don't know who I am.
Not me the mommy, me the wife, me the friend, me the daughter, me the niece, me the homemaker, and none of that I would change for anything in the world, but me. Just me. I don't know who I am any more. I know what makes me happy as a mom, as a wife, as a daughter...etc. But outside of that, I just don't know. And I think it comes down to feeling like I'm trapped inside myself. I don't know who I am, because I can't be comfortable enough in my own skin, to figure out who I am outside of every other facet of my being.
And it's strange, because it's nothing that people do straight out, but it's nuances I see in their expressions. A rolling of the eyes, a flicker of a "Really?" look in their rolled eyes, a slight shake of the head, or even someone blowing out because of something I've said. Too many times my jokes don't get laughed at, or something I say gets completely ignored. And I never say anything about it, but it hurts. So, I've taken to hiding away from myself to the point now, that I don't know who I am any more. I know who I am around my cousin, and I know who I am around everyone else. There's a huge difference. But, now that I've recognized it, how do I learn who I am, and how do I become myself, around everyone else?
So, here's to finding me. Wish me luck.
So...I think I'm depressed. And I think I have been for a little while. I've just lost the heart for all the stuff I was doing. So I got to thinking about why. Now I don't want to go to my doctor because I just don't want pills shoved down my throat. Not saying that she would, and she probably wouldn't if I asked her not to, but I don't think it's chemical, I think it's mental. And no. I don't think I'm just a basket case.
But that being said, I was asked the other day by Frog, why I feel like I can't be myself around anyone. And I really thought about that. Frog was right. I'm not me around many people. And maybe it's because I feel like I can't be me around people. Let me explain what I mean. Frog and I have the same annoying traits, so when we're around each other, quite honestly, we don't annoy each other. And that's when it hit me. That's what it is. I am an irritating person.
I understand it, I accept it, and I get it. It's just me. I have always had my quirks and they aren't going away any time soon. I'm loud sometimes...well really most of the time...I don't have a filter, I'm a smart ass, I run my mouth and don't know when to stop. I like to laugh too much, I'm OCD with an anxiety disorder, and honestly, I realized, that outside of my bad sides, I don't know who I am.
Not me the mommy, me the wife, me the friend, me the daughter, me the niece, me the homemaker, and none of that I would change for anything in the world, but me. Just me. I don't know who I am any more. I know what makes me happy as a mom, as a wife, as a daughter...etc. But outside of that, I just don't know. And I think it comes down to feeling like I'm trapped inside myself. I don't know who I am, because I can't be comfortable enough in my own skin, to figure out who I am outside of every other facet of my being.
And it's strange, because it's nothing that people do straight out, but it's nuances I see in their expressions. A rolling of the eyes, a flicker of a "Really?" look in their rolled eyes, a slight shake of the head, or even someone blowing out because of something I've said. Too many times my jokes don't get laughed at, or something I say gets completely ignored. And I never say anything about it, but it hurts. So, I've taken to hiding away from myself to the point now, that I don't know who I am any more. I know who I am around my cousin, and I know who I am around everyone else. There's a huge difference. But, now that I've recognized it, how do I learn who I am, and how do I become myself, around everyone else?
So, here's to finding me. Wish me luck.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Today's thought...ordinary hero's.
It's thunder storming where I am. And I took a moment to go outside and just stand in the wind. (Thank you Jack Daniels for telling me to do that btw! And just to clarify, Jack Daniels is a persons nickname and not literal Jack. I don't drink hard liquor.)
Anyway, while I was out there, I closed my eyes and was actually taken back to a time, long ago, when I was 12 or 13 and times were simple. The only worries I had were what I was going to wear to school, and making sure I didn't disappoint my parents with a bad report card. Well it was summer that year, and I went to 4-H camp. Oh yeah! I was a total Ag Geek in middle school.
So anyway, one day while at camp, a big storm come up. And I mean, its summer time, storms aren't uncommon in this area. So we are all huddled in the stadium part of the camp, all huddled together. Now you have to understand, at this point of my life, I was scared to death of storms. I mean shake me out of my boots, giving myself a panic attack every time I saw a rain drop, scared of storms.
So we huddle in this corner, and I'm crying and freaking out and this woman, who is running the thing I guess, or at least my group anyway, sits there huddled with all of us and gets us through the storm safely.
Well later that night, after the storms had passed, I remember being in bed, and that woman (who the only thing I can remember is she had red hair), sat there beside me and told me she would hold my hand until I went to sleep, because I was scared seeing the lightening out the window, even though the storm had long since passed.
That woman (I can't even remember her name now), was my hero for the hour. She stayed there and kept me safe from the thunder storms. I would hug her, to this day, and say thanks, if I could remember who she was. Simpler times.
Simpler times.
It's thunder storming where I am. And I took a moment to go outside and just stand in the wind. (Thank you Jack Daniels for telling me to do that btw! And just to clarify, Jack Daniels is a persons nickname and not literal Jack. I don't drink hard liquor.)
Anyway, while I was out there, I closed my eyes and was actually taken back to a time, long ago, when I was 12 or 13 and times were simple. The only worries I had were what I was going to wear to school, and making sure I didn't disappoint my parents with a bad report card. Well it was summer that year, and I went to 4-H camp. Oh yeah! I was a total Ag Geek in middle school.
So anyway, one day while at camp, a big storm come up. And I mean, its summer time, storms aren't uncommon in this area. So we are all huddled in the stadium part of the camp, all huddled together. Now you have to understand, at this point of my life, I was scared to death of storms. I mean shake me out of my boots, giving myself a panic attack every time I saw a rain drop, scared of storms.
So we huddle in this corner, and I'm crying and freaking out and this woman, who is running the thing I guess, or at least my group anyway, sits there huddled with all of us and gets us through the storm safely.
Well later that night, after the storms had passed, I remember being in bed, and that woman (who the only thing I can remember is she had red hair), sat there beside me and told me she would hold my hand until I went to sleep, because I was scared seeing the lightening out the window, even though the storm had long since passed.
That woman (I can't even remember her name now), was my hero for the hour. She stayed there and kept me safe from the thunder storms. I would hug her, to this day, and say thanks, if I could remember who she was. Simpler times.
Simpler times.
Thursday, April 04, 2013
Today's thought...a fun quiz about me.
Not sure why I'm inclined to do this, I am just going to put it out there and see what kind of response I get and how many people really know me. :) I'll list my answers at the bottom, so no cheating!
1. Outside of the obvious, being my immediate family, who are some of the most influential people in my life? See if you can get 3 of them. And by this I mean people I think about, talk to and get advice from on a pretty constant basis. All of my people are important to me, and this list will not be in any particular order and I may forget a couple people, so if I do, no hurt feelings! That's not what this is for. Also, since I never use actual names on here, there will be nicknames. You'll know who they/you are.
2. What is my favorite color?
3. I am an author. What type of books do I write?
4. My first intended series is about a police detective. Who in my life, is her character directly based off of?
5. What is special about my daughter's name?
6. My cousin Frog and I plan to eventually make a trip to a far away place for a special event. What is that event and where is it?
7. If I could move anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
8. What are my favorite animals? I'll give you a hint, I love all animals, but there are 2 in particular, that I am fascinated with. Either one would grant a correct answer.
9. What is my favorite card game?
10. What is my favorite drink? I have one alcoholic and one non.
You get 10 points for each correct answer, and if you get all of the extra answers too, there's a possible of 115 points in total. So, lets see what you got. :)
Answers
1. September, Saturn, Leesburg, Sturgis, Michigan, Floor, Basement and Jack Daniels.
2. While it used to be purple for a long time, I've actually started leaning towards blue now for about the last year.
3. Murder Mystery as well as Suspense
4. September
5. Her middle name isn't English. 5 Extra points if you can tell me what language it is.
6. An anual rally race held in Targa New Foundland Canada.
7. Florida. That's where my mommy and daddy are.
8. Orcas and Manatees - 5 Extra points if you answered both.
9. Cribbage
10. Alcoholic: Merlot - Non-Alcoholic: Dr. Pepper - 5 Extra points if you answered both.
Tally them up and send me a text or comment on my Facebook. Tell me how ya did. Peace out homies!
Not sure why I'm inclined to do this, I am just going to put it out there and see what kind of response I get and how many people really know me. :) I'll list my answers at the bottom, so no cheating!
1. Outside of the obvious, being my immediate family, who are some of the most influential people in my life? See if you can get 3 of them. And by this I mean people I think about, talk to and get advice from on a pretty constant basis. All of my people are important to me, and this list will not be in any particular order and I may forget a couple people, so if I do, no hurt feelings! That's not what this is for. Also, since I never use actual names on here, there will be nicknames. You'll know who they/you are.
2. What is my favorite color?
3. I am an author. What type of books do I write?
4. My first intended series is about a police detective. Who in my life, is her character directly based off of?
5. What is special about my daughter's name?
6. My cousin Frog and I plan to eventually make a trip to a far away place for a special event. What is that event and where is it?
7. If I could move anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
8. What are my favorite animals? I'll give you a hint, I love all animals, but there are 2 in particular, that I am fascinated with. Either one would grant a correct answer.
9. What is my favorite card game?
10. What is my favorite drink? I have one alcoholic and one non.
You get 10 points for each correct answer, and if you get all of the extra answers too, there's a possible of 115 points in total. So, lets see what you got. :)
Answers
1. September, Saturn, Leesburg, Sturgis, Michigan, Floor, Basement and Jack Daniels.
2. While it used to be purple for a long time, I've actually started leaning towards blue now for about the last year.
3. Murder Mystery as well as Suspense
4. September
5. Her middle name isn't English. 5 Extra points if you can tell me what language it is.
6. An anual rally race held in Targa New Foundland Canada.
7. Florida. That's where my mommy and daddy are.
8. Orcas and Manatees - 5 Extra points if you answered both.
9. Cribbage
10. Alcoholic: Merlot - Non-Alcoholic: Dr. Pepper - 5 Extra points if you answered both.
Tally them up and send me a text or comment on my Facebook. Tell me how ya did. Peace out homies!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Today's thought...another political rant.
I read something today on Facebook. And generally I try not to respond to these things, but this deserves a little scrutiny. Okay this is a picture put out (creatively mind you) with Obama proudly looking at something and it says "We've created nearly 6 million jobs in the last 4 years, Bin Ladin is dead, the war in Iraq is over, we've set a new record for the number of millionaires in our country, the stock market is setting records, stocks have seen their best winning streak since 1996, unemployment has dropped from 10.1% to 7.7%, we cut the deficit and slowed spending to the lowest level in 50 years, the once nearly dead American auto industry is thriving, and people born with pre-existing health conditions can no longer be denied health coverage. -- Just to name a few things. Republican response: Obama is the worst president in history. - Yes President Obama; we hear you laughing and we join you." and it lists their sources as follows:
DEFICIT & SPENDING http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bob-cesca/repeat-after-me-obama-cut_b_1955561.html
MILLIONAIRES http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2011/06/22/u-s-has-record-number-of-millionaires/
UNEMPLOYMENT RATE https://www.google.com/publicdata/explore?ds=z1ebjpgk2654c1_&met_y=unemployment_rate&idim=country%3AUS&fdim_y=seasonality%3AS&dl=en&hl=en&q=unemployment+rate
STOCK MARKET http://www.kiiitv.com/story/21651344/stocks-retreat-from-record-levels
JOBS http://mollysmiddleamerica.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-many-jobs-has-obama-created-or-lost.html
Here's the thing that I have about this. First off the article itself is presumptuous that someone would think that these few issues is why one wouldn't like the President's policies. Second off, a lot of these claims are not the whole story and I will explain further, point by point.
We’ve created nearly 6 million jobs in the last 4 years: And we still haven’t recovered the number of jobs we lost at the beginning of the recession. How many jobs have been lost in the last four years.
Bin Ladin is dead: Thank you George Bush. The only thing that Obama did was gave the go ahead, and furthermore, there is still no body and no real proof he's dead.
The war in Iraq is over: Yeah so now, when the shit hits the fan again, we’ll have to go back in and fix it again, costing even more lives because we’re not there already.
We’ve set a new record for the number of millionaires in our country: That is a question in itself. First off, the report that showed that figure, that it’s up from 2009 to 2010, if you were to take the time to read the article, which was written in 2011 mind you, two years ago. Second, the number of millionaires could very well be going up, but at a considerably slower rate of increase, starting out at 16% growth from '09 to a mere half that of 8% in '10. Now another site shows that it has in fact gone down in 2011 and 2012, coming back up for the 2013 tax year. We’ve also set a new record for people on government assistance and food stamps. No one’s bragging about that.
The stock market is setting records, stocks have seen their best winning streak since 1996: Which doesn’t do a damn thing for the little man. Companies still aren’t hiring. Yes, it has been on it’s longest winning streak, well as of March 15th since ’96 - But if you’d read the entire news article, you would understand that this doesn’t necessarily mean it’s doing great, considering according to the very article in the paragraph before it, the S&P 500 almost to a record low made in October of ’07; Dow Jones was down 0.2% and Nasdaq was flat. That huge winning streak, isn’t looking so big now is it?
Unemployment has dropped from 10.1% to 7.7%: This Google Graph, represents only as they say “adjusted” rates that do not include several factors such as how many people came into the work force age in the month of March, how many of those people have been taken off of unemployment benefits, or people who have simply quit looking for work. If you put that information in and factored all of those things, you would know that the unemployment rate is more along the lines of a staggering 23%. That’s a level last seen in The Great Depression.
We cut the deficit and slowed spending to the lowest level in 50 years: Lets look at the real numbers shall we? If you do the real math, including the part that shows the budget submitted by Obama in 2012 proposed a 31% increase over Bush’s-Democratic Congress budget, and a 9% increase over the budge that Obama himself proposed just two months into his term. Where is the slowed spending there?
The once nearly dead American auto industry is thriving: You mean Chrysler, who is now owned by the Italians, or did you mean GM who is still having the same problems and hasn’t solved any of them. Or maybe you meant Ford, who happens to be the only U.S. automaker that did not take the bailout, picked themselves up by their own bootstraps and are doing quite well.
And people born with pre-existing health conditions can no longer be denied health coverage.: First off, you’re not born with pre-existing health conditions. You’re born with disabilities. Second, why did they need to overhaul the entire health care system just to do that?
Republican response: Obama is the worst president in history. As a Republican, the ever infamous WE - doesn't just flat out think he's the worst president in history. And it's really an insult to label me. I don't like his policies, and he very well could be one of the worst presidents in history, I don't know. I just know that for what he's doing right now, in my "Conservative Republican" opinion, he's certainly not the best.
I'm not even replying with the laughing part. That doesn't dignify much of a response in itself. Oh, and just so there's no question...here are my sources. Please feel free to check them and see what your opinions or thoughts are. I'm definitely open to discuss. Lastly, I have to ask when typing this out and seeing it now, why does it keep saying "We" if "Obama" is the one that did all of this himself? Just a thought.
DEFICIT AND SPENDING: hotair.com/archives/2013/01/16/has-obama-really-cut-deficit-spending - A direct response to Mr. Cesca’s blog post done October 10 of 2012 - all of his sources are listed.
MILLIONAIRES: thinkprogres.org/economy/2011/09/20/324230/mitch-daniels-millionaires/?mobile=nc - Also written in 2011 showing that even if the number of millionaires is going up, it is at a consequently slower rate. - www.columbiatribune.com/business/number-of-u-s-millionaires-raises/article_caedc2ca-8ff0-11e2-a62a-10604b9f1ff4.html - The second article was written March 18, 2013 by the Washington Post.
UNEMPLOYMENT RATE: www.forbes.com/sites/louiswoodhill/2013/03/10/the-real-story-behind-fridays-unimpressive-unemployment-rate-decline/ - Written on March 3, 2013 - The second article was www.wnd.com/2013/01/heres-the-real-unemployment-rate/
STOCK MARKET: http://www.kiiitv.com/story/21651344/stocks-retreat-from-record-levels - Same article as used in the original paragraphing, actually written by a CNN correspondent March 15, 2013
JOBS: news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/fact-check-4-5-million-jobs-created-under-175621036--election.html written September 5, 2012
I read something today on Facebook. And generally I try not to respond to these things, but this deserves a little scrutiny. Okay this is a picture put out (creatively mind you) with Obama proudly looking at something and it says "We've created nearly 6 million jobs in the last 4 years, Bin Ladin is dead, the war in Iraq is over, we've set a new record for the number of millionaires in our country, the stock market is setting records, stocks have seen their best winning streak since 1996, unemployment has dropped from 10.1% to 7.7%, we cut the deficit and slowed spending to the lowest level in 50 years, the once nearly dead American auto industry is thriving, and people born with pre-existing health conditions can no longer be denied health coverage. -- Just to name a few things. Republican response: Obama is the worst president in history. - Yes President Obama; we hear you laughing and we join you." and it lists their sources as follows:
DEFICIT & SPENDING http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bob-cesca/repeat-after-me-obama-cut_b_1955561.html
MILLIONAIRES http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2011/06/22/u-s-has-record-number-of-millionaires/
UNEMPLOYMENT RATE https://www.google.com/publicdata/explore?ds=z1ebjpgk2654c1_&met_y=unemployment_rate&idim=country%3AUS&fdim_y=seasonality%3AS&dl=en&hl=en&q=unemployment+rate
STOCK MARKET http://www.kiiitv.com/story/21651344/stocks-retreat-from-record-levels
JOBS http://mollysmiddleamerica.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-many-jobs-has-obama-created-or-lost.html
Here's the thing that I have about this. First off the article itself is presumptuous that someone would think that these few issues is why one wouldn't like the President's policies. Second off, a lot of these claims are not the whole story and I will explain further, point by point.
We’ve created nearly 6 million jobs in the last 4 years: And we still haven’t recovered the number of jobs we lost at the beginning of the recession. How many jobs have been lost in the last four years.
Bin Ladin is dead: Thank you George Bush. The only thing that Obama did was gave the go ahead, and furthermore, there is still no body and no real proof he's dead.
The war in Iraq is over: Yeah so now, when the shit hits the fan again, we’ll have to go back in and fix it again, costing even more lives because we’re not there already.
We’ve set a new record for the number of millionaires in our country: That is a question in itself. First off, the report that showed that figure, that it’s up from 2009 to 2010, if you were to take the time to read the article, which was written in 2011 mind you, two years ago. Second, the number of millionaires could very well be going up, but at a considerably slower rate of increase, starting out at 16% growth from '09 to a mere half that of 8% in '10. Now another site shows that it has in fact gone down in 2011 and 2012, coming back up for the 2013 tax year. We’ve also set a new record for people on government assistance and food stamps. No one’s bragging about that.
The stock market is setting records, stocks have seen their best winning streak since 1996: Which doesn’t do a damn thing for the little man. Companies still aren’t hiring. Yes, it has been on it’s longest winning streak, well as of March 15th since ’96 - But if you’d read the entire news article, you would understand that this doesn’t necessarily mean it’s doing great, considering according to the very article in the paragraph before it, the S&P 500 almost to a record low made in October of ’07; Dow Jones was down 0.2% and Nasdaq was flat. That huge winning streak, isn’t looking so big now is it?
Unemployment has dropped from 10.1% to 7.7%: This Google Graph, represents only as they say “adjusted” rates that do not include several factors such as how many people came into the work force age in the month of March, how many of those people have been taken off of unemployment benefits, or people who have simply quit looking for work. If you put that information in and factored all of those things, you would know that the unemployment rate is more along the lines of a staggering 23%. That’s a level last seen in The Great Depression.
We cut the deficit and slowed spending to the lowest level in 50 years: Lets look at the real numbers shall we? If you do the real math, including the part that shows the budget submitted by Obama in 2012 proposed a 31% increase over Bush’s-Democratic Congress budget, and a 9% increase over the budge that Obama himself proposed just two months into his term. Where is the slowed spending there?
The once nearly dead American auto industry is thriving: You mean Chrysler, who is now owned by the Italians, or did you mean GM who is still having the same problems and hasn’t solved any of them. Or maybe you meant Ford, who happens to be the only U.S. automaker that did not take the bailout, picked themselves up by their own bootstraps and are doing quite well.
And people born with pre-existing health conditions can no longer be denied health coverage.: First off, you’re not born with pre-existing health conditions. You’re born with disabilities. Second, why did they need to overhaul the entire health care system just to do that?
Republican response: Obama is the worst president in history. As a Republican, the ever infamous WE - doesn't just flat out think he's the worst president in history. And it's really an insult to label me. I don't like his policies, and he very well could be one of the worst presidents in history, I don't know. I just know that for what he's doing right now, in my "Conservative Republican" opinion, he's certainly not the best.
I'm not even replying with the laughing part. That doesn't dignify much of a response in itself. Oh, and just so there's no question...here are my sources. Please feel free to check them and see what your opinions or thoughts are. I'm definitely open to discuss. Lastly, I have to ask when typing this out and seeing it now, why does it keep saying "We" if "Obama" is the one that did all of this himself? Just a thought.
DEFICIT AND SPENDING: hotair.com/archives/2013/01/16/has-obama-really-cut-deficit-spending - A direct response to Mr. Cesca’s blog post done October 10 of 2012 - all of his sources are listed.
MILLIONAIRES: thinkprogres.org/economy/2011/09/20/324230/mitch-daniels-millionaires/?mobile=nc - Also written in 2011 showing that even if the number of millionaires is going up, it is at a consequently slower rate. - www.columbiatribune.com/business/number-of-u-s-millionaires-raises/article_caedc2ca-8ff0-11e2-a62a-10604b9f1ff4.html - The second article was written March 18, 2013 by the Washington Post.
UNEMPLOYMENT RATE: www.forbes.com/sites/louiswoodhill/2013/03/10/the-real-story-behind-fridays-unimpressive-unemployment-rate-decline/ - Written on March 3, 2013 - The second article was www.wnd.com/2013/01/heres-the-real-unemployment-rate/
STOCK MARKET: http://www.kiiitv.com/story/21651344/stocks-retreat-from-record-levels - Same article as used in the original paragraphing, actually written by a CNN correspondent March 15, 2013
JOBS: news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/fact-check-4-5-million-jobs-created-under-175621036--election.html written September 5, 2012
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Todays thought...Political views...or not...Long post, forgive the length, but in my opinion, worth the read.
Okay I saw something today and I read through it and I just...I just cannot keep my mouth shut about this one. This comes from a "Letters to the Editor" from Beaufort North Carolina, and was posted (In what paper, I'm not sure, it doesn't show on the photo.) on January 17th, 2013. I will post a link in the bottom of this post, so you can read this "letter" for yourself and make sure I don't get anything wrong.
First paragraph: "Republicans and 'so-called' conservatives are at it again. They are claiming that the Constitution gives people the right to have guns without the permissions of the government. If that were true, then how could New York and Chicago have laws against it?" - Okay, lets discuss this claiming the Constitution gives people the right to have guns. The Constitution, signed into effect BY THE GOVORNMENT, states extremely clearly, that it is to protect the right of people to bear arms, WITHOUT ANYONE telling them that they cannot, UNLESS they are trying to use it for militia purposes. It says that IN THE CONSTITUTION!
Second paragraph: "We Democrats are sick and tired of Republicans constantly using the Constitution to cover up their true plans, which are to make us all afraid of everyone else. Our great President came from a civilized part of the country where there is strict gun control, and he is only trying to bring a more modern way of living to the rest of us. I don't know the exact statistics, but I'm quite certain that Chicago is a lot safer than Morehead City, when it comes to gun violence." - Alright, where do I start with this paragraph? We'll go from the beginning. First off, I'm an extremely conservative Republican and my mom is a die hard Democrat. So is my dad. I PROMISE YOU, neither of them are afraid of me. Second, our President came from Kenya where he was born. The only reason he was granted Hawaiian citizenship and birth right, is because his mother was on vacation, and lived in Hawaii. He's not from Illinois. However, that being said, I will give you that all of his political jobs and such, have happened in Chicago. And please, enlighten me to EXACTLY what you mean by more modern way of living. That one has me scratching my head. Third, you don't know exact statistics. And that is your problem. Here's your statistics. Chicago has the HIGHEST CRIME RATE IN THE UNITED STATES! That being said, I assure you, it's NOT safer than Morehead City, which I might add, houses a population of UNDER ten thousand people.
Third paragraph: "But do Republicans and conservatives listen to the voice of reason? No, of course not. All they want to do is whine and complain about how gun control and wealth distribution violate the Constitution, as if the Constitution were all that great, anyway. There are a lot of things that need to be changed about the Constitution, I'd say, and President Obama needs to change it." - You don't think it's a little presumptuous, first off to classify ALL REPUBLICANS AND CONSERVATIVES as unable to listen to the voice of reason? And further more, lets discuss this gun control and wealth distribution violation. And my brother in law put it perfectly a minute ago. If you walk into a convenience store, and you purchase a lottery ticket, winning a hundred dollars. Is it fair that you should give half of that money to me because I'm standing in line behind you? I mean, that's what you're saying isn't it? Wealth distribution? Doesn't matter if I earned it or not, I should get that fifty bucks, because I was standing in line behind you. And really? Gun control? You want to get me started on that? Lets get started on that. Gun control is crap! Those are OUR right to bear arms as proclaimed by the Second Amendment. Guns, and listen to me people, because I'm going to say this once, GUNS DO NOT KILL PEOPLE! IT IS THE EFFED UP MENTAL STATE OF THE PERSON BEHIND THE TRIGGER THAT KILLS PEOPLE! LETS NOT DEFLECT, AND AS DR. PHIL LIKES TO SAY, LETS PUT BLAME WHERE THE BLAME BELONGS. THE PEOPLE THAT KILL PEOPLE. NOT THE GUNS THEY HOLD! Guns are tools people. Are they going to start paying Snap-On and Craftsman for fixing cars? NO! They pay the people that do the work. Same rules apply. And really!? The Constitution isn't that great? The same Constitution that founded this nation on Christian principals and ideals? You don't like it? MOVE YOUR HAPPY ASS OUT OF THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU, and quite frankly, we don't WANT people like you. Feel free to leave!
Fourth paragraph: "The Republicans are just trying to stand in the way, because the president is black. They even dared to question whether he was born in this country. I think all this demonstrates is that the Constitution needs to be amended when it comes to the qualifications for being president. Right now, it says a person has to be 35 years old, and has to be a natural born citizen. Well that is obviously unfair because there are a great many otherwise qualified people who cannot run for president because their mothers had to have a C-section. But because the Constitution was written a hundred years ago, nobody even thought of the discrimination that would result from a doctor having to deliver a baby in this unnatural way. Now that we Democrats are in control of the government, that's just one more thing we should change in our drive to make life fair." - Wow. There are so many things wrong with this whole paragraph. Since when, does being a Republican mean you're a racist? Does that mean all the black Republicans out there are self haters because they hate Obama for being black? And the fact of the questioning of him being born in this country, please refer to the "Second Paragraph" for my response to that. Lets see, what's next, Constitution amendment for qualifications. YES! Lets go there. When it states "Natural born citizen", it does not mean you have to be born vaginally! I'm sorry, but typing this out I can't help but ask, ARE YOU SERIOUS! REALLY!? THAT WAS YOUR LINE OF THINKING ON THAT!? Seriously!? How old are you!? Sorry, I really, REALLY needed to get that out. Further more, the Constitution was written and put into effect in 1787. More specifically, finalized on September 17th, 1787. Now, I'm not sure where YOU went to school, but where I went, 2013 from 1787, is 226 years, not a hundred. Lastly, Democrats are NOT in control of the government. Republicans hold more seats in the house, ergo, there's no way for Democrats to have control. And more specifically, Democrats DID hold control of the office (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE GOVERNMENT) for the first two years of Obama's first term. It worked out SO WELL, us "Conservative Republicans" as you'd deem us (Or rather you'd call us spawns of Satan I'm sure), and you "Liberal Democrats" BOTH, voted Republicans back into control. And really? Fair? What, in life, is fair? Does it say in the Constitution that you have the right to pursue fairness? NO! It states in the Declaration of Independence, and I quote "The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America. When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Tell me, what part of that says life is fair? Even God says that life ISN'T fair. It's simply that. Life.
Lastly we have: "Please withhold my name because I don't want to get crank calls." signed "PROUD TO BE A DEMOCRAT" - Heh heh. If you were a gun wielding Republican, you could be proud, and not afraid to show you who are. The concept of hiding your name but being proud is a total oxymoron by the way. Look it up in the dictionary.
Sorry, I realize that was probably a little harsh, but I get extremely passionate when it comes to things like this. I am all for you having an opinion, even if it's different from mine. I love debating this type of stuff. But if you're going to put your opinion out there for the world to see, make sure you have your facts straight, and you're not just spouting things that you know nothing about. Then talk to me.
Photo of Letter to the Editor: http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/424798_530231810331738_412393013_n.jpg
Okay I saw something today and I read through it and I just...I just cannot keep my mouth shut about this one. This comes from a "Letters to the Editor" from Beaufort North Carolina, and was posted (In what paper, I'm not sure, it doesn't show on the photo.) on January 17th, 2013. I will post a link in the bottom of this post, so you can read this "letter" for yourself and make sure I don't get anything wrong.
First paragraph: "Republicans and 'so-called' conservatives are at it again. They are claiming that the Constitution gives people the right to have guns without the permissions of the government. If that were true, then how could New York and Chicago have laws against it?" - Okay, lets discuss this claiming the Constitution gives people the right to have guns. The Constitution, signed into effect BY THE GOVORNMENT, states extremely clearly, that it is to protect the right of people to bear arms, WITHOUT ANYONE telling them that they cannot, UNLESS they are trying to use it for militia purposes. It says that IN THE CONSTITUTION!
Second paragraph: "We Democrats are sick and tired of Republicans constantly using the Constitution to cover up their true plans, which are to make us all afraid of everyone else. Our great President came from a civilized part of the country where there is strict gun control, and he is only trying to bring a more modern way of living to the rest of us. I don't know the exact statistics, but I'm quite certain that Chicago is a lot safer than Morehead City, when it comes to gun violence." - Alright, where do I start with this paragraph? We'll go from the beginning. First off, I'm an extremely conservative Republican and my mom is a die hard Democrat. So is my dad. I PROMISE YOU, neither of them are afraid of me. Second, our President came from Kenya where he was born. The only reason he was granted Hawaiian citizenship and birth right, is because his mother was on vacation, and lived in Hawaii. He's not from Illinois. However, that being said, I will give you that all of his political jobs and such, have happened in Chicago. And please, enlighten me to EXACTLY what you mean by more modern way of living. That one has me scratching my head. Third, you don't know exact statistics. And that is your problem. Here's your statistics. Chicago has the HIGHEST CRIME RATE IN THE UNITED STATES! That being said, I assure you, it's NOT safer than Morehead City, which I might add, houses a population of UNDER ten thousand people.
Third paragraph: "But do Republicans and conservatives listen to the voice of reason? No, of course not. All they want to do is whine and complain about how gun control and wealth distribution violate the Constitution, as if the Constitution were all that great, anyway. There are a lot of things that need to be changed about the Constitution, I'd say, and President Obama needs to change it." - You don't think it's a little presumptuous, first off to classify ALL REPUBLICANS AND CONSERVATIVES as unable to listen to the voice of reason? And further more, lets discuss this gun control and wealth distribution violation. And my brother in law put it perfectly a minute ago. If you walk into a convenience store, and you purchase a lottery ticket, winning a hundred dollars. Is it fair that you should give half of that money to me because I'm standing in line behind you? I mean, that's what you're saying isn't it? Wealth distribution? Doesn't matter if I earned it or not, I should get that fifty bucks, because I was standing in line behind you. And really? Gun control? You want to get me started on that? Lets get started on that. Gun control is crap! Those are OUR right to bear arms as proclaimed by the Second Amendment. Guns, and listen to me people, because I'm going to say this once, GUNS DO NOT KILL PEOPLE! IT IS THE EFFED UP MENTAL STATE OF THE PERSON BEHIND THE TRIGGER THAT KILLS PEOPLE! LETS NOT DEFLECT, AND AS DR. PHIL LIKES TO SAY, LETS PUT BLAME WHERE THE BLAME BELONGS. THE PEOPLE THAT KILL PEOPLE. NOT THE GUNS THEY HOLD! Guns are tools people. Are they going to start paying Snap-On and Craftsman for fixing cars? NO! They pay the people that do the work. Same rules apply. And really!? The Constitution isn't that great? The same Constitution that founded this nation on Christian principals and ideals? You don't like it? MOVE YOUR HAPPY ASS OUT OF THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU, and quite frankly, we don't WANT people like you. Feel free to leave!
Fourth paragraph: "The Republicans are just trying to stand in the way, because the president is black. They even dared to question whether he was born in this country. I think all this demonstrates is that the Constitution needs to be amended when it comes to the qualifications for being president. Right now, it says a person has to be 35 years old, and has to be a natural born citizen. Well that is obviously unfair because there are a great many otherwise qualified people who cannot run for president because their mothers had to have a C-section. But because the Constitution was written a hundred years ago, nobody even thought of the discrimination that would result from a doctor having to deliver a baby in this unnatural way. Now that we Democrats are in control of the government, that's just one more thing we should change in our drive to make life fair." - Wow. There are so many things wrong with this whole paragraph. Since when, does being a Republican mean you're a racist? Does that mean all the black Republicans out there are self haters because they hate Obama for being black? And the fact of the questioning of him being born in this country, please refer to the "Second Paragraph" for my response to that. Lets see, what's next, Constitution amendment for qualifications. YES! Lets go there. When it states "Natural born citizen", it does not mean you have to be born vaginally! I'm sorry, but typing this out I can't help but ask, ARE YOU SERIOUS! REALLY!? THAT WAS YOUR LINE OF THINKING ON THAT!? Seriously!? How old are you!? Sorry, I really, REALLY needed to get that out. Further more, the Constitution was written and put into effect in 1787. More specifically, finalized on September 17th, 1787. Now, I'm not sure where YOU went to school, but where I went, 2013 from 1787, is 226 years, not a hundred. Lastly, Democrats are NOT in control of the government. Republicans hold more seats in the house, ergo, there's no way for Democrats to have control. And more specifically, Democrats DID hold control of the office (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE GOVERNMENT) for the first two years of Obama's first term. It worked out SO WELL, us "Conservative Republicans" as you'd deem us (Or rather you'd call us spawns of Satan I'm sure), and you "Liberal Democrats" BOTH, voted Republicans back into control. And really? Fair? What, in life, is fair? Does it say in the Constitution that you have the right to pursue fairness? NO! It states in the Declaration of Independence, and I quote "The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America. When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Tell me, what part of that says life is fair? Even God says that life ISN'T fair. It's simply that. Life.
Lastly we have: "Please withhold my name because I don't want to get crank calls." signed "PROUD TO BE A DEMOCRAT" - Heh heh. If you were a gun wielding Republican, you could be proud, and not afraid to show you who are. The concept of hiding your name but being proud is a total oxymoron by the way. Look it up in the dictionary.
Sorry, I realize that was probably a little harsh, but I get extremely passionate when it comes to things like this. I am all for you having an opinion, even if it's different from mine. I love debating this type of stuff. But if you're going to put your opinion out there for the world to see, make sure you have your facts straight, and you're not just spouting things that you know nothing about. Then talk to me.
Photo of Letter to the Editor: http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/424798_530231810331738_412393013_n.jpg
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