Todays thought...The Ark...2004

This blog is dedicated to a piece of paper my mama got from a co-worker entitled simply The Ark 2004. I want to share it with you all now as I rolled from laughter when I saw this as well as taking a good look around and thinking about it once in sunk in. It goes like this...


The Ark 2004
The Lord came to Noah, this time in America in the year 2004. Earth was wicked and overpopulated. The Lord instructed Noah to build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing with a few good humans. "Here's a blueprint", said the Lord. "Hurry, in 6 months I will start and unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later, the rain started. The Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his flooded yard - and no ARK.

"NOAH" He roared, "Where is the ARK???"

"Forgive me, Lord", begged Noah. "Things have changed. I needed a building permit. I have been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I have violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the ARK in my yard and the height limitation being exceeded. We had to go to the development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Transportation Dept and the Dept of Highways wanted a bond posted for future costs of moving power & other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the ARK's move to the sea. I argued the sea would be coming to us but they would hear nothing of this. Getting the wood was another problem. There was a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the Environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owl. NO GO! I gathered the animals but then I got sued by an Animal Rights Group. They insisted that i was confining wild animals against their will. They argued as well that the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in so confined a space. The Environmental Protection Agency dedided that I could not build the ARK without filing an environmental impact statment on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. The Trades Union wants me to hire only union trades, people with ARK building experience. To make matters worse, Immigration Services and the Internal Revenue Services have seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally as well as with endangered species. So, forgive me Lord, but it would take at least 10 years to finish this ARK."

Suddenly, the skies cleard and the sun began to shine. A rainbow stretched across the sky. noah looked up in wonder, "You mean...you're not going to destroy the World?", he asked.

"NO, said the Lord, "YOUR GOVERNMENT BEAT ME TO IT".


This again is a dedication to this paper. Again...I rolled on the floor laughing but I put it to you now...read it...let it sink in...and ponder that one for a little while.