Todays thought...Yesterday's race.

Those of you who know anything about me know that I'm a grease monkey from the word go. My cousin and I rebuilt a 1987 Pontiac Fiero couple of years ago with the original intent of using it in a week long rally that happens every year in Targa New Foundland. Now admittedly, Frog was able to do more on the car since it was at his house, but any time he had it at my place and I was able to pitch in, I was right there under the car with him. I would say under the hood but anyone who knows anything about cars knows that the Fiero's engine is in the trunk and the trunk is in the front. Most of the work needed done was on the underneath of the car anyway so...there it is. However not long after taking on this project, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter and the dream on my end didn't die, but got put on hold. Well Frog continued working diligently on the car and we entered it into an auto cross yesterday.

Now we've auto crossed before but it was in his Chevy Aveo. Which is a 4 banger anyway. The Fiero is a V6. The Aveo a front wheel drive front engine car. The Fiero a rear wheel mid engine. The Aveo will run and when you push a curve or a turn it will keep pushing. The Fiero...LoL! Yeah. When you take her around a corner and go in too hot, the ass end comes out and just keeps going! There is no corrective mistake, you just bring it all the way around and keep going. Now I've spun a car out before. However it was not in a controlled environment and there was another car and trees and...yeah it was just bad all the way around. However in a controlled environment, it's a whole new situation. There's no fear when you spin out, except for the thought that when you go off the track it doesn't matter what your time was, they consider it a did not finish and that totally blows when you're racing.

That being said, and neither Frog nor I having driven a rear wheel mid engine car before lets just say, I spun out on my second time around, which was coincidentally my best time, which I stayed ON the track. Frog on the other hand, his first trip around was his best. It was great. The second time around he spun out once and kept it on the track, and then he spun out again right at the end and threw the thing off the course and dirt and dust flew in every which direction...into MY window! See the Fiero's AC doesn't work, so the windows were down and I got DIRTY! They blare over the radio frequency to all the other drivers to watch out for all of the dirt and grass that was now on the track. His third time around, he did great until he hit the corner that he hit before he spun out into the grass, hit the stop strip, threw the car into a spin and went off the track again! And this time, dirt and grass came in through my window again! It was hotter than the blazes out but oh my gosh was it fun!

Needless to say when we were sitting at a restaurant afterwards and looking at the fact that I was covered in dirt from head to toe, I had grease on my arm, on my knee, on my legs, and I had something blue that we couldn't immediately identify where it came from. It was so great! We got pics of the car, as dirty as I was. I got home, and there was black and brown in my bra, in my hair, in my EARS! But oh my gosh, I had more fun yesterday then I've had in a long time! It was amazing! Can't wait to do it again!

Today's thought....I really am a tech geek!

LoL! Okay On my puter I have Windows on one partition, and Linux on the next. I like Linux, it's clean, user friendly, and you only have to dedicate 15-20 gig of space to it unlike Windows in which the program itself IS 15-20 gig. Well the other day my cousin was telling me that he had Ubuntu 10.04 on his flash drive and asked me if I wanted to see if I liked it. That's the other good thing about Linux. The program is small enough that you can load it off of a flash drive. Anyway getting back to the point, I put it in, run it, fall in love and decide to update from Linux Mint Helena 8 to Ubuntu 10.04.

Now most of the time, he does the upgrades of Linux programs on my puter but this time he asked me if I wanted to learn how to do it. I told him that would be awesome. So he walks me through it. I get all excited because I know how to load a new Linux program now on my puter that when I reload it and restart my puter, I don't even look to see if my Windows partition is still on my puter. LoL! Because I have it partitioned so that I can have both Windows and Linux on my puter. And I do this because I have programs in Windows that won't run with Linux...YET. Such as iTunes...etc. Regardless, it was just so funny, that as important as my Windows side is to me and those programs, I didn't even look to see if Windows was still there. My cousin laughed so hard and said I was officially a techy geek!

Eke! I'm so proud of me!

So, my cousin works for this company which will for obvious purposes remain nameless, where he does a job that he used to love. And in fact, I think he probably still does love the work, just not the politics that goes with the job. First off he's been thrown into working 3rd shift. Which in itself wouldn't be bad, except when the boss gets in after him working all night, he throws more and more crap on top of him to do. In this week alone I'd be shocked if he's had more than 6 hours sleep a day. And he just keeps trucking along. Workin his ass off. Now here's the big thing with it. He's salary. Which means he doesn't get paid over time. So hell, if I was his boss, why not use that advantage and use my employee? Oh wait, that's right, BECAUSE I'm A DECENT HUMAN BEING WHO KNOWS USING YOUR EMPLOYEES IN THAT WAY IS WRONG! Come on people! Where does it end? This happens EVERY DAY to people all over the country! Especially for small business owners and their employees. At least when the company my husband works for pushes him for all he's worth and then asks him for more, they pay him for it! And why is that? Oh yeah, because someone who works there isn't scared to call the labor board on their asses! Not that they'd need to, he works for a pretty big corp and in the almost 10 years he's worked for them, they have treated him really good. I dunno. It just pisses me off that bosses like my cousin's get away with this every day!

Today's thought...Recovering.

Recovering from the rents visiting. Not that it was a bad visit, I love when they come into town. I hate when they leave. And I mean I HATE it. It sucks so bad. Life's been busy lately. Not bad, in fact, pretty good, but busy. My daughter has got all four top teeth cutting at the exact same time. Poor thing has been in a bad way lately.

On a light but totally gross note tho, my husband was frying some fish the other night for the fam. Well I look up and notice a spider on my ceiling. (Creepy freaky...eeeeww) Anyway, I'm telling him that there is a spider. And ordinarily I would shriek and yell at him to kill it but this time it was about to crawl over his head. So I of course shriek, but tell him that he needs to beware and kill it. And he's busy cooking, so his initial thought is "I don't care about the stupid spider, I'm cookin." But he looks up and tells me to grab the fly swat, so he can reach it. Just as I'm about to grab it the spider falls off of the ceiling and disappears. Turns out, it wound up IN the cooking oil that was boiling. Deep Fried Widow anyone? LoL!

So I was watching a TV show today and I heard something that I've heard so many times from guys before. The man said that he doesn't know why his wife has it so hard being a stay at home mom. Well let me tell all of you guys that are my friends that may read this, being a stay at home mom is a full time job and is just as stressful as your jobs and require just as much work! Some moms have just the child to take care of but in most cases, if you are a stay at home mom, it's because you're married and your husband has the income so that you don't have to. So as such, of course your first responsibility is to your child. That means that you never sleep in. As soon as your child is awake, they are up. Needing either a bottle or diaper change. Especially when you have a baby. Then, once you have the baby taken care of, your next responsibility is to get your husband up and off to work, making sure their breakfast is done, lunch is made and ready to go, coffee is brewed, and if you have a man that takes any medications, you have to make sure he takes his meds. And you do all of this because you love him, not because you have to. Once you have him taken care of and off to work, you go back to your child. Who now that they are done eating, is needing mommy time. Once you cuddle a bit and give that baby some mommy time, there has to be some play time and some reading. Then after about an hour of that, you lay the baby down for a nap in which if you're lucky, you get about thirty minutes to an hour to have some breathing time and pick up close by. Or at least I do. My daughter doesn't nap in her crib. So I get the living room picked up and by the time I sit down for a bit, she's awake. By this point it's almost noon. It's time for me to eat and getting close to time for her to eat again too. So I fix myself something, make her a bottle and feed us both. Then we once more have some mommy and me time and by around 1, I have her hooked up to a pack on my chest and I do the rest of the house work. Dishes, getting food ready for dinner, sweeping and mopping (Because I have hard wood floors), and of course, lets not forget, calling around and paying bills, talking to doctors, fitting a phone call into my husband in there once in while and putting her down for her afternoon nap. I get about 2 good hours to do what I want, which is usually napping myself because I've already been going for 10 solid hours non stop. Now she wakes up and is ready for her afternoon bottle which I give her while doing laundry, making sure that my child has clothes to wear the next day and my husband has work clothes and clean drawers to put on every day. Oh lets not forget, every other day, while cleaning after lunch, she gets a bath too. Anyway back to my point. So once she's done, she goes into her bouncy chair and comes up stairs with me so that I can start dinner and have it ready for my husband when he gets home. I don't do this because I have to, I do it because I know that my husband is out there busting his hump so that I can set here with the baby and watch her grow up. Once he gets home it becomes a run around of making sure his coffee cup is clean for the next morning, taking care of any left overs that may be still on the stove, running the dish machine again, checking my husband for ticks because he has a job that keeps him outside all the time, making sure his plate and glass is full, and getting him some of the clean drawers that are in the dryer, as well as his shorts to wear. Now somewhere in the midst of all of this, my daughter gets a jar of food to eat and another bottle and IF her daddy gets home in time to see her and kiss her good night, then it's been a good night. Other wise she goes down for the night. Now I don't think I need to mention through out the day I probably change 30 diapers, give a million hugs and kisses and clean up drool and spit up. All day long. Now, once she's asleep, if by some miracle I'm not dead on my feet, I get to spend about 30 minutes with my husband before he crashes out completely because he's been working for around 12 hours. Now I suppose you could say by this time I've technically been going for about 16, maybe 17 hours by now. Knowing that in 7 hours I've got to get up and do it all again. And that is only IF my daughter doesn't wake up in the middle of the night with a night mare, needing a diaper change, or suddenly in a growth spurt and needing another bottle. Oh and somewhere in the midst of my pretty much 24 hour a day job with a few down times, if I'm lucky, I can get a shower every other day. I get no me time, unless my husband actually has a few seconds to watch the baby and I can get out. Or my brother in law, which has been an absolute blessing in my life. Point to be made here is those men out there that think that life is so easy for a home maker and stay at home mom, of a baby at that, have no idea what my life is like. And to top that off...I don't get a paycheck for it! So don't judge, and don't think you know what happens behind closed doors, because you don't! Learn to appreciate your wives/mothers whatever and understand that life aint any easier or less stressful because I don't go to work for 8 hours a day, because you have NO IDEA what my day consists of.

Okay folks gonna step into my soap box and get a little bit political here. It's frustrating and here is just my humble opinion. I think it's deplorable for what's happened in Nashville to not be even commented on by our famous wonder. You know Bush was on the television 3 days before Katrina hit, he was on the tv the day Katrina left and was ready to help out the second they asked. Obama hasn't said a single word about what's going on in Tennessee right now. Oh wait...could it be because Tennessee is a Republican state? Begs the question doesn't it? Or does it? It took him over a week to say something about what was going on in the gulf so that doesn't really say much about that. But you know, everyone and their brother was all up in arms about how Bush didn't do anything for La when Katrina hit is just absolute crap but oh no one says anything about the fact that Obama not only takes a WEEK to even say ANYTHING about the oil rig and hasn't even said ANYTHING about the tragedy in Nashville? Whatever people! I'm so tired of the freaking double standards that everyone shows him because "Ooh he's the first black president..." Ahhh! So what! News flash folks....HE'S NOT EVEN BLACK! I'm more Native American than he is black and I don't have much of that in me! Oh and here's another one... HE STILL has yet to PROVE that he's even a US citizen! Yeah! And he hasn't been questioned yet? WTH America!? Anyway, again, these are just my opinions on this subject. Love em or hate em it is what it is.

Well, my daughter is officially an only child. I had to have the Essure procedure done. Went in yesterday and found that it took full effect. No babies anytime in the future for me. Though it was a good decision, it's still hard to wrap my brain around at times. My body rejected the pregnancy with my daughter from the beginning and I just couldn't do it again. So my little girl is an onliest. She's so special. She's so beautiful. I love being a mom so much.

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Today's thought...Another funny to share.

Now my cousin has always been one to make me laugh with his stories of restaurant trips, or times that I've been with him, or on the phone with him, that he's done something just off the wall. And what I mean by that is he will go through a drive-thru and order it to go. He's gone through the drive-thru and ordered it for there. We were at a little pub and the waitress was getting our drink order and he told her that he wanted a diet water. Kid you not. She started to write it down and then stopped and give him the oddest look, until we all started laughing and I told her to ignore him. Well my hubby did one in the same recently and it was so funny, I just have to share it.

Recently McDonald's did the twenty-five cent Chicken McNuggets on the menu. So, my husband, went through the drive-thru and ordered...get this now...1 Chicken McNugget and a glass of water. To which the lady on the other end rang up a twenty-seven cent order. He and my cousin (yes, the same one) were laughing so hard that they could barely tell the lady that they were only kidding and that they had a big order. I, hearing about this, laughed so hard myself I could have peed.

Anyway, I had to share that story. I'm in the mood for a laugh tonight and thought this would do it! Later peoples.

Today's thought...10 years.

So it's been 10 years ago today that I made the biggest and one of the best decisions of my life. And I guess that's the main point, I got away alive. I got away with my life in tact. I left my ex, who was as abusive as the day is long. So many things were set in motion by my leaving. I met my husband now, and well, if not for him I don't know where I'd be today. I do know that I'd be without the love in him, as well as the love and life of this beautiful little girl that is my daughter. She is such a miracle from God and I am so thankful every day that he allowed her to live. Through everything that she's been through, and she's been through a lot...she's so tough. Such a fighter! I wouldn't change a thing from the last 10 years. It's been an amazing journey. Happy, sad, thankful, scary and sometimes bad. But mostly blessed. How else do you go from hell to heaven like I did? God Blessing alone.

A day in the life of me...Get ready to laugh.

So most days, being a stay at home mom currently, I will sweep, mop, dishes, laundry and taking care of the baby. Then I take care of diff odds and ends things that need to be done through out the house. Well honestly I can't remember my funny yesterday mid-day, but last night on the way home my husband asks me to put on a pot of coffee because he's on his way home from work and frozen like a Freezy Pop.

So I pour out the holder part of the coffee pot and I realize..."Hmm. It's kinda nasty gross, I need to wash it out." So I lightly rinse it with soap and water, making sure not to scrub out the oils in there, but just getting the main grody stuff off, ya know? So I spray it out and soap suds goes everywhere and I rinse out the holder part and throw it back onto the base of the coffee maker. Not thinking about all of the soap suds that were on the bottom of the holder, I step back to get the coffee from the top of he fridge to realize, holy crap, there's soap suds coming out of every section of this coffee pot! LoL!. So I hurriedly remove the holder and rinse off the bottom, grab a piece of paper towel and begin to wipe off the base that has the heater part. Then I think..."Self, you should probably UNPLUG the coffee pot while wiping off the wet soap suds." and I do so. Well, I finally get it all wiped down and got everything back together put the coffee and the water in the pot and hit the power button. Nothing. I hit the power button again. Nothing. Then it dawns on me. "Duh stupid! Plug the pot back in!"

LoL! Oh the life and times of this household. Tee hee.

Today's thought...what I believe. Just a small list of a few things.

I believe that God is my Savior and that Jesus died on the cross for me. I believe that one day after I die, God and I are gonna go horseback riding and discuss the important things in life over a steaming hot bowl of mac and cheese (Kraft of course!) - Things like...Why on EARTH he created spiders.

I believe that jeans were created to wipe your hands on, and they can be worn more than once before washed.

I believe when I get to heaven St. Peter is gonna shake his head cuz I'm gonna come in sliding into home base all dusty and dirty with my favorite pair of perfect fitting jeans, my favorite hoodie and my signature hat.

I believe you should always smile. Mama still says to this day that it makes people wonder what you're up to.

I believe it's always appropriate to crank the music in your car and sing along as loud as you want.

I believe that you shouldn't worry about what people think about you. I believe that your real friends will love you no matter what your little quirks are. They'll love you for those quirks. Just ask my best friend. If people cant appreciate you for you, find someone else to be around.

I believe in blinkers and the hundred foot rule. I also believe that driveways will NOT run away so you can pull in faster than a creep. I believe in letting someone cut in front of you in a traffic jam and I believe that truckers and motorcyclists have the right of way just as much as I do.

I believe putting the pedal to metal is the only way to race. I believe in getting my hands dirty and getting under the hood as much as possible. I believe its a great release and an accomplishment when you fix a car and get it running again.

I believe everyone should farm at least once in their life. Be it hang tobacco, bail hay...whatever. One of the most amazing feelings in the world is coming home after a long day of working out in the field and sitting down after a long hot shower to a glass of iced tea.

Like I said. These are a few of my beliefs I wanted to share. I'll write another later.

The year in review. Good-bye 2009 and hello 2010.

Lets start with the beginning of the year. Trying to conceive. The Pooh Bear and I had been trying to get pregnant for a while. We'd had a couple of blow out fights and he told me to take another pregnancy test. I did and found out in early March that I was pregnant with my amazing bundle of joy. They ran tests and found the blood tests showed yes, I was definitely pregnant, but they couldn't find the baby in the ultrasound. So they thought it was ectopic and sent me in for a Laperoscopy because the baby was in the tubes and could be fatal depending on how far along the pregnancy was. To the best of their knowledge based on my last period and the level of hormones in my blood it was getting close to critical time. I go in for surgery and wake up to my husband telling me that I am still pregnant.

From there on out until mid August when I started having real problems with my blood pressure and if I continued as was it would cause me early labor. This continued into September and by September 19th I was in the hospital because of my blood pressure and I was borderline gestational diabetic and I was preaclamptic. I was in the hospital on a Saturday then by the next Friday, September 25th, by 3pm my daughter was born. It was emergency surgery and she was not supposed to have been born until November 30th. She was 10 weeks early. It was such a hard time going back and forth to the NICU but she finally came home on 11/12. It was amazing to have her home, at 4lb 7oz. It's been a hellova last few months! But my little girl is here! She's alive! And more than that, she's home! She's crashed out now, with a bottle in her mouth bless her heart.

It didn't stop there though. On October 30th I went in for emergency surgery to remove my gall bladder. I went in at 7:30 that morning and woke up once more to my husband telling me that while the surgery had gone well and they'd removed my gall bladder, a few stones had gone down the tract into my liver and they had to go back in later on that day and remove the stones from my liver. It's been a crazy year. But good in the end. So I guess though it's been as trying as it has been, good-bye '09, hello '10! Nice to see ya and hope you're as good as '09 ended!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD PEOPLE!???

I watched something on the news today that really just...PISSED ME OFF!!! Ok this terrorist attack attempt on Christmas Day, and that's what it is...A TERRORIST ATTEMPT...not a Man Made Disaster (We'll get on that one in a minute)...they are in a debate on whether or not they should put him (the terrorist) directly in Gitmo or if we should let him have rights and so on and so forth. Ok everyone is all worried about his "Constitutional Rights". HE IS A TERRORIST!!! THE CONSTITUTION IS FOR PEOPLE BORN IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!! HE DOES NOT HAVE RIGHTS IN THIS COUNTRY! HE IS A TERRORIST!!! WHY ARE WE GOING TO GIVE HIM RIGHTS AS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN? ALRIGHT PEOPLE, SINCE NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND THIS, LETS REFER TO SOMETHING HERE SHALL WE? The Geneva Convention which states the rules for prisoners of war. It goes on to say that we are only held by this treaty of prisoner treatment IF the opposing country follows the same rules. Guess what people, THEY AREN'T FOLLOWING THE RULES!!!

THE POLITICIANS OF THIS COUNTRY HAVE GOT TO STOP MAKING LIGHT OF WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON AND STOP BEING SO DAMNED WORRIED ABOUT POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!! THESE ARE TERRORIST ATTACKS PEOPLE!!! THEY ARE NOT MAN MADE DISASTERS!!! THEY ARE ATTACKS AGAINST US ON OUR SOIL!!! AND TO QUOTE SOMEONE ON THE O'REILLY FACTOR. I'M NOT SURE WHICH DEBATER I WAS BUT ONE OF THEM MADE THE STATEMENT AND I QUOTE: "OBAMA SAYING THIS IS AN ISOLATED INCIDENT IS LIKE TIGER WOODS SAYING RACHEL UCHITEL IS AN ISOLATED INCIDENT!" WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! ITS TIME TO START SEEING THIS FOR WHAT IT IS. WE ARE IN WAR PEOPLE! AND IT'S GOING TO BE GOING FOR A WHILE. YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU WANT, TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU TO SLEEP AT NIGHT BUT THE TRUTH IS STILL THE TRUTH AND THAT IS THIS IS WAR, THESE MEN ARE TERRORISTS AND IT'S GOING TO CONTINUE UNTIL WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! STICKING YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND IS NOT GOING TO MAKE IT GO AWAY! WAKE UP AND REALIZE IT FOR WHAT IT IS AND NOTHING LESS!

Really...a whole new area?

SO I'm watching The Weather Channel of all places to hear this, this morning. Now first off I can't STAND that NBC decided to put Al Roker on TWC in the mornings and try to turn it into another morning show! People didn't watch TWC to find out what the latest stock quotes were or to find out what was going on in Washington D.C. I mean COME ON! Sorry, a bit of a touchy subject with me. Anyway, getting back to point here...Apparently some city in Mexico became the first city to recognize gay marriage. My problem wasn't with the recognition, lord knows that's not even something I think about. But what did bother me was the fact that instead of calling it Mexico, we've become such a politically correct society that they said, and I quote, "the first city in Latin America." WHAT!? Did I just hear that? So no longer is it Central or South America, it's all Latin America. Wonder what the folks south of the border would think of that. WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO US?

Case in point. My best friend has a co-worker that she is close with. She is from Mexico City. And you know, when you talk to her about her origins, she talks about Mexico proudly! She embraces where she's from and with grace! Now, if she can embrace where she's from, just like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US SHOULD, then why is it such a bad thing to say she's Mexican? I mean look at me. I live in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! When I go to Mexico or Canada, I don't call myself a Northern Statesman (Or even Northern Stateswoman for that matter.) Hell no! I'm a freakin American and DAMN PROUD OF IT! Further more to embrace my own heritage, I'm also part Native American, part English and part Black Spaniard! PROUDLY! So what now!? What do you call me? A Heinz 57? A mutt? Oh no, that's not politically correct. I'm a Conglomerated American. WHATEVER! WAKE UP PEOPLE! GET A FREAKIN CLUE!

Playing the victim still???

When will my insecurities go away? Will they ever? How do I even begin to try and help that? I've been to counseling and it helped...sorta. Will I ever get back to myself? And for that matter, am I still playing the victim? What makes that the case? I can't stand what I've become. And every day I look at myself in the mirror more and more irritated with what has happened in my life. Maybe I am playing the victim still? My emotions seem to control my life at times. Who's to say it is my emotions. I've been told that I'm not me any more. It's true. I'm not like I used to be. When did I become so cynical? Why has my past made me so cold to the world around me? And really...who am I? I've refused to be a victim for so long, that I've become one. And I despise that fact about myself because it's weak to be the victim. And there's the truth in a nutshell. I'm weak.

Then the idea was posed to me today...what is my daughter supposed to think of me? Will she see me as the coward I've made myself to be? Am I the strong individual that she needs me to be? I'm not a victim. I refuse to be labeled as such and will not allow my daughter to pay for my mistakes in life.

Ok really folks!? I'm ready to throw my hands in the air and just say SCREW IT! My septic tank has given me absolute FITS! This goes on week number 2 where we have been fighting and fighting and I'm just tired! Lets start with coming home from the hospital. We're not even going to focus on my little girl at the moment who thankfully despite the setbacks is doing well.

So my parents paid for us to get new floors in the house. We started doing that and in the process, the septic tank backed up into the house. So we dug up the septic and it was full. We call the guy, get it pumped which is $200 3 weeks ago, and my hubby finds out that the roots have gotten into the pipes leading to the leach bed and our septic is not draining at all. So we do what we can and think we've fixed the problem. In the meantime, my house is in absolute disarray because we're ripping out almost all the carpet and replacing it with hard wood. So we THOUGHT we'd fixed the septic. WRONG! It's backed up. Turns out the roots have completely blocked off the pipe leading to the leach bed. So now we get to pay for them to come out here, pump the tank AGAIN!!!! then dig a new pipe to the leach bed. Good times! NOT!

All the while...I'm ready to just pull my hair out! Really! My little girl is still in the hospital, and now has MRSA. It is the antibiotic resistant Staph. She is doing really good though and is not symptomatic. We are just praying that she remains that way and is able to come home shortly just as if she didn't have it. Lots of prayers are appreciated. Only time will tell. Oh, and if it rains, it poors. I've had an ultra-sound done today to see if I have gallstones. Lot's of prayers. Lots and lots of prayers.

Boy, talk about not blogging for a bit. So much has happened since the last blog I've barely had time to even think about things. Where do I even begin? Well, first off on Saturday the 19th, they throw me in the hospital for my pregnancy. Being high risk SUCKS! So I get to the hospital and they decide that I need to stay in there because they need to monitor me and blah blah blah. So this is Saturday. By Monday my doctor comes in and picks on me that he can't go on vacation for a week and I wind up in the hospital. LoL!

So he proceeds to inform me that I'm most likely gonna be in the hospital until my daughter is born and it's going to be 2-3 weeks and she will be c-section because I'm toxic and they will most likely have to take her early. So they pump me full of steroids so that it can speed up the growth of my daughters lungs/kidneys, you know, just in case she is born early. Well of course then the steroids raises my blood sugar where I already have issues with gestational diabetes. So now I'm on a diabetic diet.

Now the whole time I'm in the hospital, for breakfast, every morning, all I want is some freakin Cheerio's. You wouldn't think it would be that hard. But I would call in every morning and ask for Cheerio's, and every morning, they would send me Special K. So by Thursday, I've been in the hospital for 6 days, the dietitian comes around and I express my extreme distaste for the fact that all I wanted was freakin Cherrio's and I had yet to get them. So she promises me that she will make sure that I have Cherrio's for Friday morning breakfast.

So Friday rolls around. The 25th. My mama's birthday. The first thing I think of when I wake up is actually that I need to make sure I call her and wish her a happy birthday. Well they get my blood pressure that moring, and it's high. SO they talk about the fact that they need to talk to the doctor and get an ultrasound done and what not because I'm toxic and everything else. SO they give me my breakfast. Guess what I get... CHEERIO'S! I'm so freakin happy because I've finally gotten my Cheerio's! Well I start getting my breakfast ready to eat, pour in the milk, take one spoonful of cereal, put it to my mouth, nurse runs in; "Don't eat! You can't eat! They're probably going to do a C-section later, you can't have any food in your stomach!" Now I'm pissed! I'm pregnant, and I've been fighting for days to get one bowl of the right freaking cereal and I finally get it and I can't have it!? Then realization hits. WHAT!? Did you just say C-section today!? My baby is going to be here...today!? She can't be born today. I'm only 30 weeks! It's too soon! She's too early! This can't be happening!

Truth be told the rest of the day was a complete blur to me. This cereal incident happened at around 9:30 and she was born at 3:47. Happy birthday grandma, ready or not, your granddaughter is here. The spinal for the c-section hurt worse than anything honestly because they had such a small area to work with but I didn't feel much after it was done. They showed me my beautiful baby girl then they whisked her away to the NICU. She is doing remarkably well for being born early. Everyone in the NICU tells me my little girl is very feisty. It makes me smile to know she's a fighter. She's so beautiful.

I'm home now. She's going to be in the hospital for a bit. They are thinking they will have to keep her until around her original due date in the end of November, I'm hoping she'll be home before that. It's up to her and how quickly she gains weight. She's small for a 30 week baby anyway, but she's doing great and gaining a little bit every day. She's in great hands in the best NICU in the state, so I can't ask for more than that. I just hope and pray that she's home soon. I can't wait to bring my little angel home with me. Well anyway, that's what's going on at the moment in my world. I will definitely update as she she gets stronger and gets to come home. Until then...later folkses.

~Me~

So, I figure since today, September 17, is not just the 17th, but is Constitution Day (i.e. The constitution was signed today in 1787 by the Constitutional Convention) I would touch a bit on the constitution and what parts of it are important to me, and why I feel the way I do. I am going to break down part by part and what it means to me. We'll see where it goes from there.

We'll start with the second Article of the constitution - The Executive Branch. The part of this that I'm talking about is Section 1 where it states:
Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States"
PROTECT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES. We'll just leave that there for now.

This brings me to a couple of amendment points that I would like to discuss and things that I wouldn't mind putting out there. As you go through the Constitution you should be aware of the Amendments and what they stand for. Most of them giving rights to the people. Article 5 of the Constitution speaks directly about Amendments and how they are ratified into the constitution and what not. It states in the Article that no Amendment made prior to 1808 shall in any manner affect the First and the Fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article (Section 4 discussing the time and place for election holding and Section 9 discussing taxing on Migration or Importation of goods into the country as well as Titles of Nobility granted by the US.) and that no State, without its Consent; shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

That being said I would like to look at Amendment 1 of the Constitution. Freedom of Religion, Press and Expression. This Amendment was Ratified Dec 15, 1791. It says Congress shall make NO LAW respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press; of the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.Now, what does that mean to me? Put simply...there is NOTHING WRONG with offending anyone! I should not be censored at Christmas time because I'm a Christian and my neighbor is Muslim! WHEN DID AMERICAN CITIZENS BECOME THE MINORITY!!!!!!!!???????? WHY IS IT THAT WE AS AMERICAN CITIZENS LET THE RIGHT WING GOVERNMENT TELL US WHAT WE CAN OR CANNOT SAY!?

Now lets look at Amendment 2 of the Constitution. Our Right to Bear Arms. This Amendment was also Ratified Dec 15, 1791. It says A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed! SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!! This one is SO IMPORTANT! Why is it that our government wants to take that right away from us? This was put into place so that the people, American people, could defend themselves against the government! This was originally put into place because when we as America made ourselves a nation away from the old world and the old government, they wanted to make sure that they were not put in a position such as in the old world where the kings and government were the ONLY ONES ALLOWED TO CARRY SWORDS/WEAPONS. This principal basis of this Amendment was to give the people the power! Imagine that! What the constitution was created for! What does this mean to me? It means to me that everyone is entitled to their opinions on the matter but the bottom line is simple, this is our right, and it was put into affect for a reason. Why is the president trying to take this right away from us? Isn't it noted in the Constitution and did I quote that he took an oath before entering into this presidency that he would PROTECT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION! All of it! Not just the parts that he deems fit! ALL OF IT! You CANNOT PROTECT AND DEFEND OUR RIGHTS IF YOU ARE TRYING TO TAKE AWAY THE SECOND AMENDMENT!

Lastly lets talk about Amendment 10 of the Constitution. Powers of the States and the People. This Amendment was too Ratified Dec 15, 1791. It states The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively or to the people. In layman's terms says that these things not mentioned in the Constitution should be taken care of by the people. Put simply, POWER TO THE PEOPLE! The government was designed to take care of our rights and our freedoms. I know I've touched recently on this National Health Care plan. So why don't we keep going with that one.

Now what's being suggested if you look past the earmarks and the amendments and addendums and look at the bottom line of this health care initiative is to make it more affordable for those who don't have insurance. Okay? Does anyone know what the government run health care basis is in England? The same England that we distanced ourselves from when this constitution came out so that we as America could become and INDEPENDENT country. It states that they will do things cost effectively period. No problem. Except the fact that if it's not cost effective then they won't use it. As in the statement that's been made and believed by people in some governing countries that senior citizens need to simply deal with being senior citizens and are not worth "wasting funds on". Really!? I wonder what the guy will be thinking about when he turns 55 and becomes a senior citizen himself. Heaven forbid he should get sick with anything that he might need treatment for. Will it be okay at that point to shrug him off and tell him its just too bad that he's over 55. It's not cost effective to treat him for what ails him. That's what government health care is all about. And you know, I have to ask the big question...Why in sam HELL is the president putting his two cents into health care? You tell me WHERE in the Constitution it talks about government health care. You won't find it! And do you know why!? BECAUSE PUT SIMPLY, IT BELONGS IN THE HAND OF THE PEOPLE!!!

We need to get back to (And to steal from the presidents own vocabulary that he likes to use a lot) the FUNDAMENTAL BASICS of which this country was founded on! Like "In GOD we trust", that's a good one. What ever happened to that one? Oh, that's right. The Politically Correct crowd said it might offend someone. Oh but wait, isn't it the job of the president to PROTECT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES!? To quote my husband here, What ever happened to the government that was By the People and For the People! Not By the Politicians and For the Deep Pockets! We need to remember what makes this country great people! Freedom! I leave you with this in thought. Try not to forget the words in the Gettysburg Address by our great past President, Abraham Lincoln.

FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO OUR FATHERS BROUGHT FORTH, UPON THIS CONTINENT, A NEW NATION, CONCEIVED IN LIBERTY, AND DEDICATED TO THE PROPOSITION THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL! NOW WE ARE ENGAGED IN A GREAT CIVIL WAR, TESTING WHETHER THAT NATION, OR ANY NATION SO CONCEIVED, AND SO DEDICATED, CAN LONG ENDURE. WE ARE MET HERE ON A GREAT BATTLEFIELD OF THAT WAR. WE HAVE COME TO DEDICATE A PORTION OF IT AS A FINAL RESTING PLACE FOR THOSE WHO HERE GAVE THEIR LIVES THAT THE NATION MIGHT LIVE. IT IS ALTOGETHER FITTING AND PROPER THAT WE SHOULD DO THIS. BUT IN A LARGER SENSE WE CANNOT DEDICATE - WE CAN NOT CONSECRATE - WE CAN NOT HALLOW THIS GROUND. THE BRAVE MEN, LIVING AND DEAD, WHO STRUGGLED, HERE, HAVE CONSECRATED IT FAR ABOVE OUR POOR POWER TO ADD OR DETRACT. THE WORLD WILL LITTLE NOTE, NOR LONG REMEMBER WHAT WE SAY HERE, BUT CAN NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY DID HERE. IT IS FOR US, THE LIVING, RATHER TO BE DEDICATED HERE TO THE UNFINISHED WORK WHICH THEY HAVE, THUS FAR, SO NOBLY CARRIED ON. IT IS RATHER FOR US TO BE HERE DEDICATED TO THE GREAT TASK REMAINING BEFORE US - THAT FROM THESE HONORED DEAD WE TAKE INCREASED DEVOTION TO THAT CAUSE FOR WHICH THEY GAVE THE LAST FULL MEASURE OF DEVOTION, THAT WE HERE HIGHLY RESOLVE THAT THOSE DEAD SHALL NOT HAVE DIED IN VAIN; THAT HIS NATION SHALL HAVE A NEW BIRTH OF FREEDOM; AND THAT THIS GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE, SHALL NOT PERISH FROM THE EARTH!

Ok so I have to tell you about my day today. I went to the doctors office and my blood pressure is still elevated. It's not dangerously high like it's been being, but it's still been elevated. They also got me set up with a nutritionist that is supposed to get everything approved from the insurance company and then come out to my house for my gestational diabetes. UGH! Thank goodness for my doctors office though. I love everyone in that office! Especially my nurse. I'll call her M. ;-) She gets so tickled when she hears my daughters heartbeat and she knows me by first name...or by trouble. I'm known quite well in that office as both with as much as I've been through! LoL!

So after leaving the doctors office I was to go home. So I stopped at Publix and got a small booklet to keep my blood pressure Journal and while there I saw a little elephant made by Russ. It's a part of their "Shining Star" collection. I just thought it was totally cute, and since I'm doing my daughters room in elephants I had to have it. So I get it, put it in the cart and tell my husband we need to go ahead and pick it up...not really giving him much choice in the matter. As he is walking around the store I actually go back out to my truck because I'd been on my feet a lot today and I was really tired. So I waited as he shopped. Well we didn't realize when I picked it up how expensive it was. It was just a stuffed elephant. I mean, how expensive could it be right? Well my husband comes out of the store and tells me it was like $13 for this little elephant. Well of course I didn't expect him to actually pick it up knowing it was that expensive, but he did. Well I just got to looking at the tag and it occurs to me just now, why it was so expensive.

Shining Stars is actually a part of the International Star Registry. Apparently when we purchased our little elephant friend for her today, we actually purchased a star for her as well. I get to go online shortly to this website, register and name the elephant and then I get to name a star for my daughter. How cool is that!? I'm so excited! Anyway, I just had to put a note on here about that.

Lastly I have to put a quick shout out to you Swayze fans. We lost a great man today. But I have to say, anyone battling Pancreatic Cancer as long as he did, he is definitely in a better place now. God called for one of his dancing angels today and he definitely got a good one with Patrick. You'll be missed.

Later all!!!! ~ME~

Today I will write in remembrance. 8 years ago today seems long ago and yet, just a breath away at times.

My husband and I weren't married yet. We lived in Nashville Tn at the time and I worked for a home health agency. He worked nights at a Waffle House so he'd come in after getting off at 7, wake me up, I'd get ready for work and be out the door by 8 so I could be to work by 8:30, give or take with traffic. The morning started in it's usual rush with me getting up after hitting the snooze several hundred times. We didn't take time to turn the television on or anything, we just rushed out the door. We only had one vehicle at the time and if he had anything to do during the day while I was at work, he'd drop me off at work and take the truck.

Anyway, we piled quickly into the truck and down the road we went. My normal morning routine was to of course channel surf through the radio stations to find something on. We lived close to I-440 and we would take it to the west side of Nashville to the building that I worked in. We jumped on I-440 and in the time it took us to get there I'd resigned to listening to anything but talk because out of all of my stations, that was all that was on, admittedly not listening to what the talk was about, just hearing the talk and changing the station. I clicked on a local rock station 107.5 The River and decided I'd leave it there because I was in the mood for that type of music. It wasn't until my husband and I stopped to listen to what was going on that we heard the news. The first jet at this time had just struck the North Trade Center Tower.

I remember looking at my husband just completely in awe at the tragedy that had just befallen New York City. A plane had just crashed into one of the hugest icons in the country. My husband looked at me and I will never forget the look in his eyes when he said "This is a terrorist attack." I stared at him for a moment and shook my head in disbelief. This was a tragedy. How could this be a terrorist attack? Who would do it? It was that moment that the second plane crashed into the South Tower. I remember we were just getting on the ramp to hit I-440 from I-65 and I took a deep breath, looked back at him and said "Oh my God. You're right. This is a terrorist attack." I remember my first thought was to call my mama. Granted, she didn't live anywhere near New York City, but I had to call her. My husband and at I at the time didn't have the first access to cell phones at the time and there were quite a few questions. Was I going to be at work? Would they keep us working that day or send us home because of this aggressive and unjust attack on our great nation?

He drops me off at work where I'm told, true enough this tragedy has happened but working for home health, people still need their care and medicine. So I run back out and let my husband know, we do have a responsibility to our patients but that I would be getting off at normal time and we'd go from there. At work there was no real conversation. Everyone was in awe and everyone at their desks listening to their radio's or upstairs gathered around the only television we had in the building. Now at work, realizing my work phone was not to be used for personal calls and not really caring, I called my mama at work to talk to her. She said that at their job they were too all gathered around the television but that everything was okay. My next line of business was to call my daddy. He was at home and I knew it was a big chance that he would actually answer the phone because mom had said he'd worked the night before. He worked nights at the time all the time then. I tried anyway and of course, got the answering machine. Shortly, I too was plugged into my radio, not doing too much with my patient load except waiting for them to call in and talk to me as thankfully at the time, my patient load was pretty small.

I had been at work a short bit over an hour when the first tower fell. I heard it on the radio and immediately called my mama again. She said that she'd seen it on the television there at work. She worked odd hours going in at like 4 in the morning to stock inventory but she got off at noon and I knew in a couple of hours she'd be on her way home. I called the local restaurant and talked to my husband. We talked for a few minutes and he told me that he'd called and talked to his mom and dad, and of course, with them living locally we knew they'd be alright, but still we wanted to check.

The rest of the day in all honesty was a complete and utter blur. I think I talked to all of about 3 patients the entire day, one of which I remember lived in DC and actually got through on the phone to talk to me. When it was all said and done 5 o'clock took SO LONG to get there but by the time it did, I was so ready to see my husband and just go home and hold him for the rest of the night. All that mattered the whole day was just being with him and how much I loved him. We ordered in pizza that night for dinner and we did just that. I will never forget falling asleep in his arms that night, feeling terrible for the people that were going through everything like that, but so thankful that we lived in Nashville and not New York.

This was a day that made the nation angry at the injustices of a world that we live in for the sheer fact of how we believe. It's so hard for me to write about this even now without crying and thinking about the things that we take for granted every day. A long time ago I remember being at a church function and looking across the table at my aunt who was in absolute tears while they did the National Anthem. And I was just a kid. It didn't make any sense to me that anyone would cry over something as simple as the National Anthem. I now cry too almost every time I hear the National Anthem because of what it stands for. The tragedy in itself caused an uproar of patriotism in the country that in my opinion should have been there all along. We as a people need to remember what makes this country great! Freedom. Don't take it for granted. Because we are the only nation in this world that has it.

Today's blog is in remembrance of those who died on September 11, 2001. The men and woman, the fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and friends. The police men, the fire fighters, the people just doing their jobs that day, the hero's that had no idea what they were in for waking up that morning and getting ready for just another day at work. To the people that died in New York, as well as DC and Pennsylvania. The brave people who refused to let the plane be taken over and died fighting for it. To the people that lived and are able to go on every day and remember what happened and live with that patriotism, and share it along the way.

We will NEVER forget.

Today may be a bit of a long post, I've got a bit that I want to get off my chest and some of it is political so be ware. There is quite a bit I want to talk about. :-) Lets see, where to start.

This morning, I went in to the doctors office and got a 4 hour glucose test done for gestational diabetes. The first test came back a little high. (5 points, barely over the limit). So here's me...pretty high threshold for pain. By the time they were done using me as a human pin cushion I was crying like a baby. People...my tattoo didn't hurt this bad! In fact in comparison, my tattoo didn't hurt at all!!! And it makes me all the more confident that when I get my next tat (Which will be my daughters middle name and maybe birth date), it won't hurt either! So the doc has put me off work until further notice. I'm not to do anything stressful or strenuous until further notice. Good times for me huh? I can't complain too bad though, maybe it will be good for me. I'm gonna need a lot of books!

After all of that took place my doctor wanted to see me about my blood pressure problems with everything and he sat my husband and I down and talked to us about my daughter being our first and only child. There have been so many complications as of yet that he is truly concerned for my health and the health of the baby if I do proceed in getting pregnant again. He actually gave me a pamphlet on a permanent birth control and told me to look it over. I trust this doctor with my life and with my child's life. He absolutely would NOT have given me that unless he was serious about the issues entailed. My husband and I have a lot of discussing to do I guess. I mean, I've joked about my daughter being our only, but actually going through the process to ensure that she is our only, that's a huge step for me.

Now I want to talk about something that I've been taking very special interest in lately. Here is my political rant. And it's not really a rant, just a concern I'd like to put out there to think about. This new health care program that our ever knowing president has been pushing for scares the hell right out of me people. And you know, the point that I am concerned about has got nothing to do with the fact of being republican or democrat. It has everything in the world to do with the fact that I am a granddaughter of the best grandma in the world (I am NOT bias...I'm just sayin) and how this is going to affect her.

Now first off, why is he so damned pushy about getting this health care plan under way? I mean, don't get me wrong, I think a health care reform for this nation would be a good thing. The insurance companies and things have gotten way out of hand and if you don't believe me just turn on the television and watch all the commercials about the money hungry atty's out there that are willing to throw these Rx companies under the bus due to side effects on medicines that doctors put these patients on. And I'm talking the big named ones too. Here recently there has been one that they have been showing about this birth control Yaz. If you've had problems with this or that or someone has died as a result of taking this product call our law office...blah blah blah...WHAT!? Ok really!? Watch the commercial for Yaz in spacific! It tells you right on the freaking commercial...this and that can happen...blah blah...especially if you are over 30 and you smoke you increase your risk of this and that side effect...IT'S ON THE FREAKING COMMERCIAL! I know damn well that if it's on the commercial people, it's on the side effects list that you get from the pharmacy. And especially IN the side effects list you get from the pharmacy if you pay attention it says that if you suffer from any side effects not listed seek medical attention immediately. Oh but there I said it right there didn't I? If YOU pay attention and read the list YOURSELF! The drug companies put that information specifically on the outside of the bags at the pharmacy as a bright red flag! How much more in your face do you need this to be? And if YOU can't read it BEFORE you take the medicine and talk to your doctor about it, how is it the responsiblity of the pharmacy or drug company? THAT needs to stop right there.

I also agree that everyone should be insured. Especially those who do not have the means to afford expensive insurance programs. And don't get me wrong, I am not above paying MY TAX DOLLARS to go toward this. Anything I can do to help those in need, I'm fully ammenable. Especially when it comes to my family. All of you that know me know that my family is a HUGE thing with me. But one of the BIG things about this great reform plan that worries me is what happened on July 31, 2009. The big news conference that all of America saw on ABC that night when they did a network special for health care. The big question was asked: "Mr. President, will you and your family give up your current health care program and join the new 'Universal Health Care Program' that the rest of us will be on?" to which our fearless leader IGNORED THE QUESTION AND CHOSE NOT TO ANSWER IT!!! Ok...um is it just me or does that right there in itself scare anyone but me? The man that is supposed to be our leader, the man who is running our United States and is supposed to lead by example will not only not answer the question? It goes a bit further than that folks. It unfortunately doesn't stop there. As he refused to answer the question and some of the senators and other congressional officials were asked that question in the coming weeks all with the answer of "We'll think about it..." around mid August they announced in the news that the "Kennedy Health Care Bill" was written into the new Health Care Reform Initiative, ensuring that congress will be 100% EXEMPT from the health care initiative.

Ok WHAT!? Does that not bother anyone but me!? The man that is supposed to lead by example, that believes in this reform that he's trying so damn hard to push, is exempt? It's good enough for my grandma but not for his wife and kids!? I don't think so!!! That's bull shit! Forgive the language...but NO! That's crap! That is MY grandma being affected. And potentially MY family that is going to be affected if it goes through for everyone, myself included. Oh but wait...Congress is exempt! So I guess then in a few years when I'm old enough I'll run for president so that I can be exempt from this great reform that is going to take over. Anyway, this is what I have to say on that! Take it for what you want. Just my opinion! Until later folkses!

~ME~

Strangely tonight, I'm not starting my blog with Oh My Gosh!!!!!

LoL! Submitted for your approval, you have just entered the Twilight Zone. I know right!? LoL! Anyway, my daughter is definitely testing me. I didn't think my doctor would put me on any more medication for blood pressure, but I was wrong. He's upped my dose once more. Now I'm taking it 3 times a day and quite honestly, I'm a little worried I'm gonna bottom out. I've done that before. I say that but dang if I still can't get it to quit spiking. Then I have my moments of absolute ARGH like I had earlier today, and it's no wonder it spikes. I dunno. You know, I have my issues going on. How am I supposed to just turn off my freaking brain and deal with them later? It's so easy for everyone and their brother to tell me, "Oh just don't worry about it." and it's quite another to actually do it. I think that's a huge part of my problem right there. I just can't turn this brain of mine off. It never rests. Sometimes not even at night.

Here lately I've been having the worst nightmares. I've literally been waking up gasping for air and not able to breathe. My husband has woken me up twice because I've woke him up with my dreams. I don't understand it at all and let me tell you, I don't like it one bit! UGH!

On a lighter note though a friend of mine was in the local paper today! I was so tickled to see it! I told her she needed to come over and sign my paper. Anyway, that's all for now. Long 4 hour glucose test tomorrow. UGH! Wish me luck that it comes back that I don't have gestational diabetes. They say that in 80% of the cases it is typically Type 2 diabetes that they didn't see before the pregnancy. Ugh I do NOT need that on top of everything else. Only time will tell. Until later folkses!!!!

Smooches! ~ME~

OH MY GOSH! I just got into contact with people I haven't thought about in years! I happened to be playing around on Facebook and I found some of my old buddies, it's so good to be back in contact with them! I'm so tickled! Ok and second...really...reading over my other blogs, it totally hits me just now that since I've started reupdating my website...I say Oh my gosh at the beginning of like EVERY BLOG! I'm such a valley girl! NOT! But I do have my moments for some reason! LoL!

Ok and I have to say also that you know for a long time unsweet tea has been my pregnancy craving, until recently. Strawberry Fruit Bars (Frozen) or the Strawberry Fruitista Freeze from Taco Bell. And really, since we're on the subject of Taco Bell, I've totally been craving double decker taco's with no meat and those El Monterey Bean & Cheese burrito's in the frozen foods section. Ok really...I don't hate Taco Bell, but DANG it's not my most favorite place to eat! Lord the things this child makes me eat! And of course I'm going to indulge her. What am I gonna tell her no? She's still in the womb! She'd make me miserable if I said no to her. She feels the power already! LoL!

A friend of mine called me recently and we were talking about how much of a tomboy my daughter is probably gonna wind up being. I mean think about it. Her mama races and works on (fixes) cars, her daddy fishes and works on (fixes) tractors, I mean really? She's liable to come out asking for a pack of worms (Chartruse...NOT Watermellon) and a set of socket wrenches for Christmas. And I couldn't be prouder! She's gonna go to prom in a camoflage dress and she'll probably be the one driving the pick up. Anyway...until tomorrow folkses!!!

~ME~

Oh my gosh so since I realize I haven't posted in a few days let me take the time to tell everyone why. My daughter has been running me ragged this week. Between my OB and the hospital I haven't stopped. LoL! But the good part about all of that (If you can call what I've been through good) is something totally funny that I've learned about my daughter this far.

Yesterday while in the hospital, they had me strapped to a baby heartbeat monitor and a contraction monitor. They first had to find her then they strapped the monitor on. Well Wiggle Butt herself wouldn't stop moving. She finally calmed down enough to keep it steady on the heartbeat. Which of course was healthy! Thanking God for that. Well toward the end of the hospital stay she figured out that when she moved against the monitor, because they had the monitor on kinda loud, that it made a noise that she could hear, and that she was the one causing that noise. Well once she realized this, she was absolutely fascinated and she kicked it, hit at it and moved against it, just to hear herself moving. It was so funny. Anyway I had to share. Hope that she stops giving me such a hard time. Later peoples.

~ME~

Oh my gosh...I am SO TIRED of this medicine let me tell you! Today is day number two with NO Effexor in my system at all. This SUCKS! I refuse to get on that medicine again. I've first off felt so much better since cutting down from it and now coming off of it completely I'm sure will make me feel better but DAMN the side effects from coming down is aweful! And I have to deal with them now. UGH! It's so suckworthy and man let me tell you, not that I'm complaining, but dog gone it, I feel VERY PREGGERS RIGHT NOW! My feet are swelled and I know it's from walking in my sandals all day yesterday but man it sucks and I just feel very huge. LoL! Anyway, today has been interesting because of the medicine detox and I'm supposed to have drank like a whole bunch of water all day because I have a fun glucose test in the morning. BLAH! Anyway, until tomorrow folks!!!

~ME~

Oh my gosh! I had such a good day! The cuz and I went to the mall after getting tires on his car and walking to Barnes and Nobles while the tires were being done. I picked up a quill. A real feather quill! It's so cool! I'm gonna put it on my desk at work! Then I had to pick up a book that teaches you how to do Calligraphy. Tee hee.

Then we went to the mall. There is a store in there that is all about...okay it's a pot smokers dream shop! I love it! Though I can proudly say I've NEVER smoked pot or done any kind of recreational drug in my life, this place is awesome! They sell hermit crabs, lots of hand made leather stuff, ooh, it's a gypsy type store. Anyway I got a couple more leather bracelets for myself (Like I needed them, but I love them!!!!) and I got one for the hubby. It had a blank plate and I was able to hit another store in the mall that does engraving. It was really neat to be able to do something special for him and get the engraving done. Last night he was talking to the baby in bed and she was just moving around, so I just put something simple on there that he said last night. It was really neat and I think he really likes it. He says he does so that's good enough for me. :-) And in the midst of all of it...I got my first pairs of maternity pants today. They are SO COMFORTABLE! I'm going back for more tomorrow.

Then I stopped okay I have to talk about this. Okay my hubby and I went a couple of weeks ago and stopped by one of those kiosks in the mall and you know, they stop you and rub your hands with the lotion or whatever. This one was for Dead Sea Salt. The thing that caught our eye was a bottle that they were talking about circulation for people that have diabetes. It is an "Intensive Foot Treatment" that has Dead Sea Salt and Eucalyptus Oil as the base. Well they sold us the salt base itself for the skin with some body butter for the thing and the foot treatment. We splurged a little bit and spent the extra funds to get all 3 not knowing what we were getting. Now first off the stuff lasts forever. It's well worth it. It's going to last us 6 months on the salt itself and that's with 2 of us using it once a week. The foot treatment is going to last between 9 to 12 months and the body butter will most likely last me at least 18 months and she gave me the soap for the face. Oh my gosh! I swear by this stuff! First off my stretch marks are DECREASING, my skin feels amazing and I suffer from migraines. The foot stuff for circulation works WONDERS on migraines! Take it from someone who found out on accident, it's AMAZING! I can't say enough about this stuff. So guys out there, I'm not kidding, if you are in the mall around work (For those of you that live close to me) and you see their stand in the middle of the mall about Dead Sea Salt products, INVEST! The stuff is worth the money for it. And I don't like spending money for anything!

Well, that's all for today. I had a GREAT day with the cuz today. It was so much fun to just hang out and my daughter really enjoyed the walk from today. I think I'm going to see what I can do to walk more often. She seems to really enjoy the stimulation for it. And my day without my phone was a complete success! It was very liberating! Side note...for the one person who will know what I mean by this (Ricky Bobby), Steve has found a home. The owner took him home and apparently now that he is on his own in a home no at the store, he's a whole new little guy. She said he's stopped tearing up the sponges, he's stopped being aggressive, he comes out of his shell and crawls around without snapping and everything. He's a very happy hermit crab now. Later folks!

~ME~

Oh my gosh! I am SUCH a morning person lately! I don't get it! This morning I got the ole' man off to work, then went to the grocery store and am home and ready to cook breakfast! Me! I've decided today that I'm going to turn my phone off here in a few and going to leave it off all day! It's going to be a phone free day for me! I am going to go into town with the cuz a bit later for tires and who knows where from there! I'm so awake! I'm very happy today too! I think my daughter has a lot to do with it! I'm not sure why! Is it possible that she could make me this happy in the womb!? I'm convinced that it's her who's converted me into a morning person in a weeks time. Although, admittedly coming off of my medicine might have a bit to do with it too. Both the good mood and the morning thing. Now that it's almost all out of my system. Maybe I was on it for long enough. The depression medicine is what I'm talking about. Maybe I was on it and it's run it's course and done it's job and I don't need it any more and now that my body is getting used to me not having it, it's compensating and I'm being happy anyway. Who knows. I'd rather think that my daughter is the reason. LoL! Anyway....that's about all for me. I'll probably blog about my day when I get back. Later folks.

~ME~

Ok so the one thing I've feared since my husband started working telecommunications happened today. He was climbing a pole and the ladder wasn't set right and it slung him off of it when he was about 14' up. He fell hard and landed on his side. He says he's alright but you know how it is to be a guy, he's not going to get checked out unless he's hurting in the morning. UGH! I love the man but I swear he can drive me insane sometimes! Ah marriage! Now I set here with a killer head ache worrying about him. Life is good. LoL! What else can I say?

And really, what would I say anyway? He's here. He didn't fall from 32' up and he's definitely still alive. So long as he doesn't have anything internal going on, we'll be good. Pray that there's nothing internal. But that's it for now. Gonna read my new Iris Johansen book that just came in the mail today! Woo hoo! I love her work. Old, new, romance, mystery, it don't matter. They're all good! Later folkses!

~ME~

Okay so it has obviously been a long time since I've updated my website and I don't even know where to begin. Honestly I'm not going to try to catch up, I'm just going to update how I'm doing now! Actually I think I'm going to start blogging on here for my Facebookers and Myspacers.

I went to the OB yesterday and let me tell you, I like him more than I do my PCP. He's very knowledgeable. My PCP took me off of my blood pressure/migraine medicine and my depression medicine because they are both "Category C" drugs meaning I don't need to be on them in the third tri-mester of my pregnancy. No problem. Well my OB has actually been an amazing help through the weaning off process of both meds. While there was no major issues that I knew of with my blood pressure medicine I had some rough issues with the depression med. Well I went in yesterday because I had a bad migraine which I knew was from coming off of my medicine and I called the nurse at the OB and she said to come in and let doc see me so that he could prescribe something else. I got in and my blood pressure was 135/108. That is very high for me and especially during pregnancy. It concerned him. He wanted me immediately to lie down and see if it would drop and if it did, great.

Thankfully it did. A lot! SO he sent me home with a replacement blood pressure med that's both safe for me and the baby and told me to rest all day yesterday. I did and let me tell you, I feel great this morning. It's amazing what happens when you see a doctor that know's what he's doing! The best things happen, let me tell you! LoL! You actually start feeling good! Anway, that is about all that's been going on lately. I've been slowly but surely getting the baby's room in order. Good times huh? I stand again and say... I HATE MOVING!!!! BLAH! It's so strange.

The roommate is in mine and the hubbys old room (The master bedrooom), the hubby and I are in the guest room, and the baby's room is the roommates old room. Let me tell you, it's SO STRANGE! And funny enough I have been so worried that I would go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and the not thinking about it, walk into and crawl into bed with my roommate who is now in our old bedroom that I actually dreamed about it last night. It was freaky! When I woke up I had to tell my husband. It was so funny. In my dream I freaked out the roommate (Ok, I'm going to reffer to him as Mr2 from now on. It's just a lot easier.) So in my dream I freaked Mr2 out so bad he wanted to move out. It was so funny. LoL! Anyway, that's all I have for this morning. I will most definitely be blogging on here a lot more than I have in the past. Just so much easier! LoL! Later peeps!

~ME~

Today's thought...update.

Things have been more than crazy in my life. It's been one roller coaster after another. I've learned recently how to deal with things. And I have been tested repeatedly. Friends have had major issues and I can proudly say that I have been very blessed to have done very well with all issues. And it's been a vast array, let me tell you. I've been to the point to where I hit rock bottom and I've crawled back out. I've got a great therapist that I truly enjoy going to and have been blessed with amazing friends and family for support. My husband and I have decided to try for children and our animals are growing as well as our family. I am happy to report that all is well. Hopefully we will have more later. Holla peoples!!!!!!!!!!!

Todays thought...Who can I trust?

Trust. What is trust? Can you trust yours special someone with your heart? Can you? Can you trust your friend with your heart? Can you trust your best friend with your darkest secrets? Can you trust your parents with your life? Can you trust anyone with your life? Can you trust your friends for the truth? Can you trust your husband or wife with your life or your heart? Can you trust them with your darkest secrets? Can you trust your boss to tell you when you screw up when it happens instead of when you get your review? Can you trust yourself not to get stupid every once in a while?

I don’t know. I’d like to think that I can trust my friends with my heart. I know I can trust my best friends with my darkest secrets and the truth. I know that I can trust my special someone with my heart. I feel like I can trust my boss and I know that I can trust my special someone with anything that might confront us. But alas I have to ask, can I trust myself not to get stupid? The answer is simple. No.

Now why is that? Why is it that I can trust my husband with my heart and my darkest secrets, I can trust my friends with the truth and my best friends with my darkest secrets, but I can’t trust myself to not get stupid? Why is it, that I have my own insecurities about anything that might rear it’s ugly head? Why do turn into an absolute smart ass when I get into an argument with someone? Why do I push people’s buttons until I get the screaming and the yelling and the door slammed in my face? (Not in the literal tense mind you...but metaphorically speaking.) Why do I do this to myself? Why is it so easy for me to turn into Queen B? Why do I constantly ask the question why? Can anyone tell me?

Todays thought...My brother.

So call it the drunken stupor right now or what ever but I'm inspired at the moment to write a quick story about my brother. 2 reasons I know he's supposed to be on this earth.

Reason 1: When my brother was 3 years old we were at a family trip with our camper. We were with friends and family. My brother proceeds to fall face first into the fire. Now, I remember screaming and then I remember my dad being right there, reaching into the flames and pulling my brother out of the camp fire. So while he pulls him up and out, I notice white doves. And it strikes me as odd because these doves fly out of the flames that my brother had just been in. My daddy pulls him out and there is not a single singed hair on his head that has been so much as singed. Now my brother had fallen into the fire and was in there for at least 5-10 seconds before my dad pulled him out.

Reason 2: My brother and I are on a dock when we were younger. I think my brother was 6 or 7 by this time. I go to walk past him and he is in my way. I proceed to walk but am closer to him than I realize and I proceed to push him off the dock and into the St. Claire River in Michigan. Now for those of you not from Michigan let me explain, this is a river that has a constant under tow and if you fall in kiss your ass good-bye. So he falls in. I was taught when someone falls in that you scream "Man Overboard". So I proceed and my dad jumps in the river and alas, my brother is saved again. By my daddy. I haven't even thought about that.

Anyway, getting off point here. Regardless. My brother is supposed to be here for something. So I love ya bro. Hang in there. You know you're family and I always got your back bro. Love Ya!

Todays thought...Political correctness...

Ok so this is a pretty touchy subject in the norm. But I just have to put this out there. Most of you know that I am Republican. I know, I know. Political bureaucracy and what not gets my mojo going and when something really irks me I have to put it out there, so that's all this is.

Ok so those of you who know me (More some than others) know that I love the Disney Channel. Call me a big kid at heart, whatever. But the last thing I want to see when I'm watching my shows (Especially my CARTOONS) is when you are watching an episode and low and behold, they throw PC crap right in your face! I have 2 examples of this. I love the Disney Show The Replacements. Great cartoon. Well the other night (Now mind you I was half asleep) the daughter gets kidnapped by the evil doer right? Ok so his evil plan is to melt all the ice in the far north and far south and do something with the water or something. So anyway the daughter starts arguing with him about the fact that if he did it would cause a major climate shift and blah, blah, blah same Global Warming crap we've been hearing about in forever. Right? Ok so he gets mad at her because of the logical sense she's making and then she goes...in the cartoon mind you..."Whats the matter? Is the truth a little too inconvenient for you?" Ok right there I was like - Skerch! Beep, beep, beep, beep. Back up a second. Little chica just said what!?

I also happen to like a little show that comes on Saturday mornings called Johnny and The Sprites. Cutest show you'd see. Definitely for kids but hey, you're talking about me here. LoL. Ok so regardless here I am watching it this morning and Johnny has sprayed something for his garden or something. I was half asleep this morning. So anyway something he sprayed made "the plants, the water and the air sick." So they proceed to summon Mother Nature who goes on to say that we can all help to clean up our planet.

Come on people! That's like buying a porno and seeing a political add on there. (I don't know the recipe I'm just sayin!) And I guess in all honesty, the Johnny and The Sprites thing isn't too awful bad. It's no worse than when I grew up with Captain Planet. But honestly, the Replacements thing... REALLY FROST'S MY COOKIES! There are a lot of people out there that wouldn't get that reference anyway so why waste the time putting it in there? Honestly? Who cares? Now I'm not saying we shouldn't all do our part, but honestly, using Disney to try to make a point on a theory is tactless. Anyway, that's what I think.
Holla!

This is a direct quote taken from http://www.joesherlock.com/blog.html -
He blogs on Monday April 14th and I have to admit his opinion is quite compelling. Please feel free to see what I mean.

True Character: Here's a touching and revealing story about John McCain in Slate - an excerpt from a 1997 New York Times Magazine profile on the Senator: "A nurse entered and seemed surprised to find anyone there, and it wasn't long before I found out why: Almost no one visits anymore. In his time, which was not very long ago, Mo Udall was one of the most-sought-after men in the Democratic Party. Yet as he dies in a veterans hospital a few miles from the Capitol, he is visited regularly only by a single old political friend, John McCain." (hat tip - Tom McMahon)

Here's an entirely different character story ...

They Call Me Mister Condescension: Last week, Barack Obama uttered something very revealing: "You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. So it's not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

Is it just me, or does this piss anyone else off but me? Ok first off, since when is Pennsylvania in the Midwest Poindexter!? Second off, where does he get off implying that we as American citizens are bitter because of people who aren't like us!? Isn't that what the terrorists that bombed the US did that for? Because they were bitter toward people who weren't like them? We didn't believe like they did? You don't see us as American citizens going around blowing things up to show our frustrations as Mr. Obama is so well implying! Why do we cling to guns? Because it's people like that who let everyone else on this earth run all over us American Citizens.

What happened to the original founding principals that made this country great? Chew on that!

That's all I have to say for now.

Todays thought...stresses of the world.

How is it that 2 people can fall in love and work their butts off to build a home and a life for themselves and everything on paper seems great, but then you get down to it. Life is rough. It's a struggle. And then the economy comes in there and kicks ya right in the balls.

Like for instance gas prices. You know my husband and I got an F-150. He got it for me for Christmas 2 years ago. Back then, gas was $1.96/gallon and with 2 incomes coming in, it wasn't all that bad. We were able to buy a house, a little bit of property and we were ok.

And then the gas hit over $3 a gallon. Now, we spend a little under $1k in gas to get back and forth to work for a month. Thats more than a house payment! We have family all over the country and we can't hardly see them because we can't afford gas. And saving money? What's that!? There's a snowball's chance of that happening! We can barely make it from paycheck to paycheck with the way it is now. And our raises at work. Hah! We haven't started making $2/hr more in the last 2 years, but the gas has sure gone up $2/gallon! Where does it end people? When will we be able to support our families, and put gas in the tank?

Why does it have to be such a struggle for my husband and I to just make it day to day? He kills himself trying to make sure our bills are paid and I don't know anyone who doesn't have a second job any more. Everyone wants to know why there are no jobs in America. WAKE UP! There's no jobs because the lazy people refuse to go out and get one while they complain about no jobs, when the working man goes out there and they take 2 part timers, and fill that full time position that you were complaining about you didn't want or didn't get for whatever reason! Grow up, take the reins and get the job! Believe me, if we can all get a part time job flippin burgers so we can make our bills, guess what, you can get the full time job!

That's all I have to say for tonight. Just a rantfest! Thanks for listening!
Holla~
Me

Todays thought...Update.

Ok so a lot of my thoughts lately seem to be updates. I know, I know. Sorry about that folkses. My life is just as busy as all gets out. I'm writing a book right now and with any luck will have it published. My husband has been extremely supportive of my writing. As well as a couple of my co-workers. One that sits beside me in particular. My props go out to my religious friend. I will call him...Hmmm, what's a good name for ya? Lamb. I will call him Lamb. Lamb has had the daunting task of setting next to me at work listening to my ramblings.

I also have a new guard dog. His name is Turtle. He is a Beagle/Bird Dog mix and some parts of his body (Bless his little puppy heart) doesn't know if his fur is supposed to be long or short so he has most of his fur on his face short with a few stray long ones. His body is the same way I'm sure but it's harder to tell. Oh and he's got this little beard...ugh. Everyone falls in love with his big brown eyes. It's hard not to.

Anyway. Other than that its ok. Pooh Bear took the cuz and around looking at tornado damage from the area today. It was devastating. There were complete houses that were just gone. And my girl Murph is doing a lot better now. Honestly I don't know why I have been so protective over her lately. I mean it's not a bad thing, unless I'm overbearing Murph...in that case let me know. But honestly, she called me the other night and drunk or not I was ready to drive out and kick some guys butt that I didn't know because he messed with her. You don't mess with my friends or my family! I don't care who you are, if I find out you looked at them cross eyed I will find out about it and I will fault you for it!

Other than that its good. Craziness about my life definitely surrounds me but oh my gosh would it be boring or what if I wasn't surrounded with this Chaos! UGH! Anyway, life is life, the earth keeps spinning and time keeps ticking. Life is what you make it. So go out there and live it to the best of your abilities. Smile even when you hurt. You never know who needs it.

Holla peeps!
Me

Todays thought...One of those days..or weeks..or well... you get the point!

So much has happened since I blogged last. So ok its been like 4 months. A lot has happened. My business partner has been injured. My full time job is still hanging in there. Lots of team changes and position changes. Nothing bad mind you. Always hesitant at first but nothing serious once all said and done. It just keeps changing. And hey, business is business and will always change, but I buck against it every time. Its just my thing.

One of my girls...I will call her Murph...is going through a major time with the loss of a loved one right now. I have so much pain inside for her because of what I went through with my grandpa when I lost him. And she's got the worse side of the whole deal. But, I can say, thankfully for her, she had a chance to see him once more before he passed, just as I did. As it was very sudden that she lost her family member, she still got to say good-bye.

Things like this make you realize just how short life is. And just how important it is to tell your loved one's that you love them. Because you never know. You never know! I hope this reaches to every heart weather hot or cold and you out there realize that life is short. Tell those you love, that you love them. Tell those you are mad at why you are mad. You may not ever have the chance again, and they may never know. I learned that the hard way too!

Thats all I have for tonight. Holla peeps!